Worldly Chatter

As I venture further into society here and mingle with the natives, I have come to interesting findings along the way. I can recall a time when I was living on Long Island, New York and me and some friends were driving through Bay Shore when our car died. Mind you, this was the age of beepers and not many of us as teenagers and young adults had cell phones yet. We were at a corner with a 7-11 so we walked over and asked the man behind the counter if we could use his phone to call for some help; our car had died after all. No, use the payphone, its outside. There was three of us and wouldn’t you know it, all we had were five and ten dollar bills. Could you break a five for us so we can get some quarters? Nope, you need to buy something. Therefore, we bought something to get some change and called for help. The battery died so the tow truck jumped the car and we were on our merry way.
Now let us fast forward a few years and into Holland. Dutchie did a very silly thing a couple of months back; she left the car lights on all night long! In the morning when we got in the car, by golly it would not start! Dutchie gets out of the car because there is not much point in sitting in a car that will not go anywhere and sees a neighbor across the small intersection working on his truck. We do not know this man; I cannot even recall seeing him before. Dutchie walks across the street and talks to him for a moment then returning with the wonderful news that he will jump-start the car. Well isn’t that nifty! He started our car, hartelijk bedankt’s and graag gedaan’s were exchanged and off we went.
It was so fascinating how a complete stranger helped so willingly.
Now you remember my interview and the adventure that was in Amsterdam right. My American bottom was going the wrong way after getting off the bus so I walk into a convenient store and politely say to him that I have a question. Waar is deze straat while pointing to the directions I had on me. Ik weet het niet, I don’t know, while he scratches his head. I show him my map and the nice woman in the store knows where it is! My companion if you recall. Well the reason I bring it up is that it is another example I have for you. A woman in an electric wheel chair in Albert Hein needed something that was on the top shelve. She kindly asks me and I get it for her; just the way people are here. With all these examples, it was no wonder Dutchie was surprised when we vacationed on Long Island and visited the city.
There is a bagel shop on Sunrise Highway, the corner of Hubbard’s Path where I remember getting bagels and coffee there as a teenager. I wanted Dutchie to experience a real New York bagel so that is where we had lunch one afternoon. We were sitting at our table, Dutchie marveling at how large and filling the bagel was when a man got up from his table and headed to the door with two canes holding him up and aiding in his walking. Another patron walks in the shop and closes it just as the elderly man was making it to the door. Dutchie saw this take place and could not understand why the woman did not hold the door so she put the bagel down and opened the door for the elderly man. That is when he looked at her a tad perplexed but was grateful all the same.
On our walk back, Dutchie could not understand why no one else helped him or why he looked at her the way he did. She asked me why and was not satisfied with any answer I gave. Some people just do not help others. Some are simply too wrapped in their own thoughts to notice. Do not get me wrong, people in NY can be quite helpful and polite. Dutchie did get to see that in the city but this really bothered her and as I mingle better with the natives here in Holland, I can see why.
The atmosphere is different. In general, people seem more relaxed and into their surroundings rather than in some other world in their head. I have experienced some Dutch people who were downright rude and obnoxious to me but I have also experienced them being kind and thoughtful. It seems more the norm than what I was used to living in CT or Long Island. I had to get used to my neighbor saying ‘hallo’ to me even though we did not know each other. Now we chat it up and has even been there on a few occasions when we needed some help.
It’s a different beat I have to go by. More relaxed and even a little slower than the pace I was used to keeping. Even when I was rushing for my train and making sure I caught the right bus the people around me were hurried but not in so much of a rush not to see the people around them. The more I step out of my box the more I see how much I really have to adapt. I still keep my New York pace and feel lost for answers when they ask me why I am in such a hurry. I will adapt and hopefully will keep the same pace, slow my step and get to know the people around me better. Then maybe I will understand Dutchie better and why stuff bothers her when it does not me.

Netherlands, American expat, Dutch, integration, adaptation