Worldly Chatter

Can I tell you how crazy my life has felt this past week! I feel as though I barely have time to get my head on straight! In three days I have worked 32 hours, practicing my Dutch with the books and CD programs we purchased and doing the everyday stuff. I have barely had time to write and I feel bad about that but I have to get used to the new schedule I am on now. It was simple before, I worked 8-4:30 so I had my nights. Now I don’t from week to week whether I will have my nights or mornings! Though this isn’t complaining, just an explanation. I am by no means unhappy by changing jobs! I love the busy feeling, the feeling that I am finally working and earning my keep! Working with mail can be very repetitive; you sit all day and only make a little for it. I am so glad I had it and that I was able to finally work but I am also glad I found something better for me!

I am just desperate to find that balance. There has to be a balance somewhere when it comes to work, writing, Dutch and my editing (the book!). Do you have any suggestions for me on how to do this, where it might be found? I am a desperate woman! I know most of the planet has the same problem, time, the little we have and how to manage it. I am by no means the only one but I need some guidance! While I waited for my permit, I couldn’t work so I had all the time in the world. With Selekt Mail I had my evenings and still balanced life alright. I have completely forgotten what it was like to work fast food and manage life around it! I am out of the loop! Help!

When I go out into the world I live in, I often ponder, do I stand out still or do I blend? Have I gotten down the Dutch ways enough? Well, while my family was here, I actually got to watch them and see how they mingle or struggle within this overwhelmingly different society and I actually saw how much I have adapted, accepted and blended within Holland. I actually sat back a time or two and watched how the four of them got on here and the variations were astonishing to me even though they are all New Yorkers and family. I had assumed that the reactions and handling of their new surroundings would be at least a tad similar. I was so wrong, at least with one New Yorker. I imagine I will ruffle a few feathers but what can I do about it, I write it as I see it right? Anyway, it is rather important to me to write about some observations on my step mother; not to have her stand out and point fingers at her, rather it is to make a point that I will get to.

Now, I have no problems doing touristy things here in Holland or anywhere else, I thoroughly enjoy them actually. I haven’t any trouble trying something new; I moved here didn’t I, so I had to be ok with it. When you go on vacation or simply try something new, there should always be a certain level of openness to it all. Expect it to be different, at least to a degree. Also, especially going to a different country, you should always expect the unexpected; realize that language will be different as will the customs. It is what makes the world go round, the many cultures I mean. It adds a little color and flare to life and, in theory that is part of why one goes on vacation. My step mother wants to do the really touristy stuff, the tour guides mentioned in the books you can buy at your local Barns and Nobel. These tours already expect non locals and will adapt to you to keep people like you, and your money, coming. What happens when you stray ever so slightly away from the tourist hot spots mentioned in the books? You get a woman who freaks out, gets pissy and demands something that reminds her, even if vaguely, of home sweet home.

This is my problem. You are in Holland, in a town that isn’t well known for tourism, can you really expect the menus to be in English while being in a Dutch nation? No, not really. Yet, there she was demanding to the waitress that there be a wine list in English at a Argentinean restaurant we went to in a little part of Hilversum. We also went to a pub in Hilversum and went to that waitress demanding an English menu in a snippy, condescending attitude. The waitress kindly pointed out the English at the bottom of every item but was quite snippy to my step mother thereafter. The Dutch attitude is simple; I give to you what you give to me.

You see, Europeans look at Americans in one of two ways, usually. There is the selfish, pompous, arrogant American who worships the stars and stripes and will not accept anything that is non-American, to the point of trashing or snarling at anything that is remotely different than what they know. When they go to places like Europe, they have a tendency to look down on European customs and traditions because in most cases, they are drastically different than the average American lifestyle. My step mother, when we went to Amsterdam, looked down on the laws that make this land, particularly the Coffee Shops, where you purchase your marijuana, the prostitution and the laid back nature of the people. Now Amsterdam is a major city yet, to a New Yorker, this is still a slow city. It is more laid back than what is familiar to the New Yorker. When you go out to eat, the service is more relaxed and slower; it is the same with pretty much everything else you do in the city. There is a reason why it is called a New York Minute and nothing else. I admit it was hard to adapt to the laid back nature of the Dutch but like my brother said, you’re on vacation, just relax and go with it. It was another thing she could not get over. It seemed every meal there was a complaint.

My brother was a true champion through it all. He did chatted with the locals when he went out, even danced with a few Dutchie’s and got the concept real quick; enjoy your stay and remember that what you give a Dutchie, they will give back. I recall him telling us about a bar he went to where they asked him what he thought of President Bush. After the surprise of being asked right off, he answered and had a wonderful chat with said Dutchie. Dutchie’s want to know if you are the first American tourist or the second one they see; the laid back, open minded person who is in it to enjoy himself and not criticize the world to their faces. Since a lot of Europeans see this second American less frequently than they do the first, are a little reserved about us Americans. What will we be like? What will we say and do to upset the balance or will they embrace the balance?

Try this on for size. If you are an American and you have pride for your country, is there anything wrong with that? Absolutely not. Is there anything wrong with getting into a debate over your country, argue a point and back up the patriotism you hold? Absolutely not. What I find annoying is when you have faith and pride for something and someone voices their opinion that doesn’t match your own and you end the conversation because you don’t see it that way then I have issue. We have every right to express our thoughts even if it doesn’t match yours. Just brushing us off and telling us that America is the greatest nation on the planet and you will defend it but don’t actually do so; what is that about? She actually sat there telling us that it was the greatest nation on the planet and she would defend it while we were having a conversation about Bush and the administrative policies and then had the nerve to say that it didn’t matter anyway because what goes on in the white house doesn’t affect us anyway. Say what?

I can understand that a person of religious convictions would not be too keen on attending a lesbian wedding. I respect that and will do what I can to make you comfortable without compromising my happiness or comfort. My step mother couldn’t attend due to those convictions yet attended the reception and it was the reason that puzzled me some. Because I was the daughter of her husband, she would attend. A little odd but alright, I can work with that. She did congratulate us but thought it odd that this country allow gay marriage. When I pointed out that there was no distinction between straight marriage and gay marriage here in the Netherlands she was surprised by this. Isn’t it separate but equal? No, this isn’t America, we actually have rights here just like everyone else.

Yet I think the one thing I have lingering emotion for is the next day, after the wedding, when we went to see Momma Dutchie. My father had some pictures on his digital camera so we were able to show her some and she gave me a token to show I was a part of the family. A necklace that belonged to her mother, she gave to me to show that she loved me, accepted me as a member of the family and a gift of sorts to say all that. We both cried and it was a touching, loving moment for Dutchie, Momma Dutchie and myself. My step mother was in the corner of the room and was going on about how there was so much to do now that we were in Den Haag and we just had to get to Delft at a reasonable time so she could get back to the hotel at a decent time. I had spoken to my father about going weeks in advance. This was my mother in law and I wanted her to meet my dad. It was quite important to me and he understood that. We were in her room and decided to have some coffee with her in the diner downstairs so we got her oxygen and chair ready and off we went. It was a lovely time, dad tried to converse with her despite his lack of Dutch and sis in law and Dutchie helped in his quest. My step mother sat there, impatient, non talkative and kept looking at her watch. Of all the things to do, Momma Dutchie could not attend so we went to her so she could congratulate us and meet my father and she pushed and tried to rush the whole thing, making Momma Dutchie, Dutchie and I feel insignificant to her master plans of seeing Holland.

We spent two hours in Den Haag and two hours in Delft; that is what she rushed everyone for. Shopping and to complain about the weather and the slowness of it all.

The reason I vent, the reason I point her out above all else is because this is what Europeans talk about when they talk about rude Americans coming over the pond. A self absorbed, arrogant, ignorant person who won’t even try to appreciate the place they came to. If you come to a place to visit then don’t do this, don’t be so unappreciative or complete about every little thing to their faces. Remember, you went to them, they didn’t come to you so show some respect for where you are at.

worldy chatter, rambles, American tourists

Shopping at IKEA can be a lot of fun! I have always enjoyed walking the store and imagining my perfect living room or bedroom set while picking up all sorts of accessories for my current furniture setting. This time it was different! For a wedding gift my father gave us some money to do with as we saw fit. To Ikea we went to finally do something about our living room! No more dreaming honey, this was t he real deal! After two trips we had accessories and two pieces of furniture; a stand with five drawers for our microwave and a laptop desk for my notebook. The third and final trip was by far the most expensive and fun! We picked out a TV stand, two bookcases and you guessed it, more accessories! You cannot have five new pieces of furniture without the proper homey touches!

So there we were, we picked it all out, paid for it and were loading it into the car when it occurred to Dutchie that her gut feeling was right in the store, this wasn’t going to fit in our little Mazda! It was a kick in the butt is what it was! The TV unit, we knew would fit where we wanted it and when I looked at the size thought without fail it would fit in the car! The book case was the same scenario; it would fit in the home as well as the car. With living in a small, one bedroom apartment on the upper floor of a student house, you think on size and space savers. This furniture was to save us gobs of space and it looks so good it just had to fit in the car!

And it did, it finally did but with some consequences.

I was not going to fit in the car! We are in the IKEA parking lot, in the middle of Amersfoort which is a fifteen minute drive away and we came to the realization it was me or the furniture. So, much to Duchies’ great displeasure, it was the furniture that won out. We wanted this for our home, we paid for it, and by god we were going to get it home! So we finished loading up the car, pushed the driver’s seat up as far as we could but still able to drive and set out to find a way for me to get to Hilversum. I was already starting to find this funny but Dutchie was far from amused. We started out little adventure together and we should finish it together. I agreed but there wasn’t any other way with all we had done in IKEA to make that happen. So, we found a kind employee to tell us where the bus stop was and we were off to search it out. Dutchie walked back to the car after found it and I hopped on the bus when it came. That was at 5:56pm.

I took my bus to a station called Vathorst Amersfoort, that was the end of the line for the route and being a station I assumed I could take a train from there to Hilversum or at the very least take a connecting train to either Weesp or another town I knew I could then connect to get to Hilversum. I check the boards and see that there is a stop train that is on its way to Zwolle but stops at Hilversum! I was going to be home soon! I bought my ticket and waited for the 6:20pm train to arrive. I waited until 6:30pm when another train going to Amsterdam Central was supposed to come but neither came. I saw a sign that mentioned a shuttle bus from this station to another where I can take a bus to towns I had never heard of, I hadn’t heard of the station it mentioned either. I am not from Amersfoort, how in the world would I know any of this! Crap I thought, now what? So I went to the front of the station and waited for this shuttle bus so I could ask the driver how to get to Hilversum.

A regular bus came and so I asked him, how do I get to Hilversum from here. Well, since trains aren’t running here, Central Station maybe? How do I get there? I can take you! So, on another bus I went! Maybe I would get somewhere after all? We drove from stop to stop and I got to see a great deal of this town Amersfoort. It was much bigger than I thought it would be. We actually stopped AT the stop I originally started at and drove PAST IKEA! It was also dug up with construction so the ride wasn’t very appealing on the eye but productive because we made it to central station! The bus driver stopped in front of a row of busses and told me that one of these busses should take me to Hilversum and then pulled it up to let us out. He was such a nice man to me! I get out and run to a driver I see outside a bus, how do I get to Hilversum from here, I asked. By train of course! Now I was thinking, right, that’s what the last train station said! He informed me it was platform 4a and it should be leaving soon. I said my thanks and marveled at how nice Dutch people for a moment before running inside the station!

The ticket I bought was still good even though it was from a different station because if the train had come it would have stopped at central station anyway so I check the board and see the train is scheduled to leave at 7:37pm. I had twenty minutes to wait so I got some coffee and a burger and went to my platform to wait.

Do you remember I mentioned I caught my first bus at 5:56pm about five minutes after Dutchie left for the car? Do you also remember I mentioned that it is a fifteen minute drive from Amersfoort to Hilversum? Well, the train left and it made one stop at Baarn before it hit Hilversum at, are you ready for this, 7:50pm! That is six minutes shy of two hours for a fifteen minute distance by car and all because I wouldn’t fit in the car!

And do you know what is really messed up? While Dutchie was feeling real bad about all this and quite pissed off about all this, I was laughing nearly the entire journey home! I really thought this was all rather funny, especially when we drove past my point of origin! It was just too bazaar for anything else but laughter in my mind!
When I finally walked in the door, Dutchie had already started setting up some of our new stuff, particularly stuff for the bathroom and so I just opened a Heineken and we put all the furniture together and set up until midnight!

I am still laughing about my journey from IKEA in Amersfoort!

Worldly Chatter, IKEA Amersfoort, Furniture shopping, Traveling in Holland

Bagels and Beans is one of the few places where I can get a real bagel. I have a co-worker who is American and told him to check it out with me. Off we went for an afternoon lunch and coffee! We sat outside and enjoyed the slightly chilled air over cappuccino and a bagel. I have been here a while now and a bit on the slow side to making my own friends so it was so nice to suggest an outing after work! I can be so shy at times, especially when you are in a foreign place with a different language. It can leave you a tad nervous and shy. I did it however! I suggested something and we hung out on a terrace! Such a big girl I am!

It’s a bit strange to me, I used to be good at making friends, being the chatter bug and all that. Since I have been here, I have been quiet and iffy about stepping out of my shell. There wasn’t a reason in the world for it other than I was scared to face the new world I put myself in at a different angle. I’ve learned there are different angles to getting accustomed to your new country. Work wise, relationship wise and socially on top of all the other culture shocks and customs that are new and thrown at you. I have been getting into the work and social aspect of it on a slower pace than I would in America. It’s an interesting thing to consider. I lived in different states in America and never really had a problem piping up. It troubles me that I have changed in this way. Maybe now that I have done it once I will do it again and will break the shell right open! One can hope right. Does one consider the consequences like this? The isolation that is put on a person by your surroundings, the government, or yourself. I want to be as I was, bubbly and chatting. An outgoing person I will be darn it all! I can do it! I am a big girl!

expats, Netherlands, Worldly Chatter, making friends

I received a long comment on my previous post, Oh America the great huh, and I wanted to respond to it in this manner. It is something that has been pressing on me for a while and is something I must consider. All expats have these options provided they follow the proper rules to get there.

That is the comment left me. Give up my citizenship to become a Dutch National is something Dutchie and I have discussed extensively on. In three years I can actually apply for it providing I have a level to in the Dutch language and taken my imbergeringexam. After that three-year period, I don’t have to be American. It weighs heavily on me. It is a part of who I am because I am American It is my home and I am sure it always will be. There are days I hate the politics or the things that go on. There are even days where I don’t miss it, only my family and friends but it is still home, it is still a part of me. To simply throw it away without thought or passion is foolish and heartless in my opinion so I question it and go through it constantly. What would it mean to me if I were Dutch? What would that mean to Dutchie? What would that mean to my family and friends still living there? Having a Dutch passport doesn’t mean I am no longer American. My whole being was raised in America and is a part of me and that is something that a Dutch passport cannot take away. It only means I am a Dutch citizen and have permanent residence there.

In one respect, I taking the Dutch nationality make sense. I would no longer be subject to American law. It means that life would a bit easier for me and for Dutchie in Holland and in the EU. It isn’t just about being gay and what America feels about that, it is also about the life I have led there and how my life is here. The differences are astounding to me and I cannot ignore them. On the other hand, I will be subject to the same laws as Dutchie in regards to visiting America. If anything were to happen to a member of my family and extended stay were needed, I could be denied based on my Dutch nationality. It is something to also put into great thought.

In the comment, the writer wrote that if they thought of my safety and well-being they would visit me and not be concerned about me visiting the USA. It isn’t just about them, it is about me as well. Not everyone has the luxury to travel to Europe and it seems incredibly selfish to consider such a thing. Having them take the time off, spend the money and do all that is required for such a thing. Another thing that must be addressed again is that it IS my homeland. It is my place of birth, the place I was raised and it is the place I know. Visiting it to visit the country is part of visiting my family. A period to take me back and remember the good things about a country I have a hard time appreciating and liking. I struggle greatly with being an American in Europe. I struggle with the current administration and what it has done to it and what it always has been. There are many truths in the comment and there are some that I wouldn’t agree with. It gives me something to think about and it has been of great discussion in the house since.

The thing is that while I struggle with how I view my own country I also struggle with how others see it. It makes no sense to me when people trash it and I am bothered by something or another but then go ahead and trash this or that myself. Is it because I lived there and know things about it that gives me a different perspective? This writer has a passion that I appreciate and loath. I love to chat with this individual and get into great discussions over very heated and sensitive subjects. Yet there are times where the views expressed get to me, make me feel things I don’t have the words for and overall am beside myself with rage and frustration when all one sees is the bad in America. I will be the first to admit it has sever imperfections but I am not one to forget the things that are still good in America either.

These things weigh on me greatly this evening. They push down often and with great difficulty in releasing its grip. I want to become Dutch and forget the sorrows, hatred and pain in my own country yet I don’t want to forget that I am American and want to have the pride in being American again. It saddens me when I cannot argue with what goes on with America and cannot disagree with how things are done and how it looks from the outside. I want resolution from all this and yet see none at times.

worldly chatter, America, Dutch National, Expats, Expatriate

Someone I know from my school days told me I was brave the other day and I was left sitting here, pondering it and what it meant to me. I talked it over with Dutchie, naturally, but it did little to end the pondering. So after talking with Dutchie and sending emails and messages back and forth with friends I have come to some kind of conclusion, though not one that I am pleased with simply because I do not see it.

When I moved to Holland it was to find happiness with the person I loved. The ride was rough, I will admit, it was dramatic, intense and scary. The uncertainty of finding your footing in a new country is incredibly challenging at times and downright frightening. I researched and asked questions to find some grasp of what was to be my new home. I was desperate to learn! With all the knowledge I thought I had gained, when I walked into the streets of Holland I was severely ill prepared. The culture, its people and surroundings overwhelmed me. It wasn’t even the language I thought was most challenging, though a big one, it was the differences in behaviors, attitudes and how the system as a whole worked. I still find things that are different and must adjust accordingly on a regular basis and I doubt it will stop any time soon.

I miss my native home from time to time, mostly just my friends and family and not the place itself so much. When I went back to NY to visit the family I missed my hagel slag and coffee pads. I missed how we pay things and the shopping hours and the prices I have come accustomed. I missed my sidewalks and bike paths. Walking around Long Island I really had a hard time getting used to all the English and my body had to get used to American food and the fact that it is processed and the taste. (It really is processed differently and tastes different!) I truly felt as though I was having another culture shock all over again but it didn’t make sense to me, this was my own country! I could not and do not understand how I could have changed so much as to feel lost in my own town! Was I away that long? Did I swallow more of Dutch customs than I had originally thought? I went from feeling lost and scared in my new surroundings to missing it deeply when I was away.

It has been a learning experience in a major way. A humbling experience I admit. I walked it with my American education, American attitude and was quickly shown there was more to life than being American. Not that I really thought this but somewhere inside we all have a bit of pride for where we come from whether we want it or not and it comes out from time to time. I was shown how different America is to the European cultures and how it made me realize a few things I wasn’t so crazy about my own country and culture in which I was raised. It hits hard, believe me, all the years of living in one culture, one society and then to have it turned upside down is intense.

I have found love and happiness. I have experienced a learning you can’t get from books and a new world to experience and smother myself in. I felt the pain of rejection and your heart skipping a beat with pure joy! What a wonder it is just to move somewhere different for something that makes you happy and experience all that! My point is this:

What I have learned, felt and taken in makes me a little more open minded and more experienced. Does it really make me brave? I moved across the Atlantic, it is approximately the same distance as if I had moved to California, would I be brave then? Dutchie and a few others say it is because not everyone would make such a leap as I have. I want to think others would. To grab hold of the one person you really love, to hold tight the happiness you feel, I really want to think others would too. Then again, she might be right, maybe there aren’t many would risk it all and make such a move. However, does it really make me brave? My conclusion is this, I don’t see me as brave, just happy but others seem to think so.

worldly chatter, living abroad, expats

We had a guest over for the afternoon on Sunday and she brought up my little book that I had written last year during NaNo month! Because I completed my word count in that month span I was able to get a copy of my book in print, glances gleefully at bookcase, and quickly noticed there was much to be done on it! I printed out the whole thing from the computer and began the painful process of rereading and writing all over the thing, I even have my notebook to go with the pages, the book and my pen to aid in my quest for an edited, lovely book. Here is the thing though, since I started work I have not had much time to sit with it! But our guest got me thinking about it and glancing at it more and more since then. I really should do something with it! The other thing that has my brain going about is that I received an email from NaNo the other day! It is coming up fast and I want to participate again! I have not done much with the first thing I did but I want to do it again! Stretch my writing muscles to its max and make something great, potentially great, I should say! What would I write about this year, will I succeed as I did the year before and what would I do with it once I wrote it? The other one is still sitting awaiting my undivided attention!

The other question I have rattling in my brain about all this is if I do something with my book, where and how? Will it do ok in a Dutch country as I have written it in English? Should I try in American markets even though I live in Holland? Such questions! Any suggestions would be more than welcome! I am finishing a book I started a bit ago while on breaks at work. I hope that once I am finished with that I can get back into my own book.

I know, a most unusual post today but it was on my mind!

worldly chatter, NaNo Month, NaNoWriMo

There are days when the weather sets your mood. We all have them right? Well, I was working today, the sun was out, the temperature was hot, and I was in a chipper mood! I was grand and happy to be working and overall an upbeat mood. Around lunchtime I noticed I was a tad sluggish, I reasoned it was due to the hunger growing in my stomach and thought nothing more of it. I left work, went to the store and headed home. Dutchie has been under the weather today and stayed home. I chatted with her, had some dinner and watched television for a bit…

Now I sit here trying to figure out what to write. I read the news and ponder the topic for the day. Nothing, nada, zip! I reasoned I could write about the lawsuit going on between second generation survivors of the Holocaust and Germany or I could write about Unemployment tourism here in Europe but I wasn’t sure which or how to go about it. My indifference is driving me crazy! I then have to go and close the windows because a storm is amongst us! The rain pours down as if God was crying buckets and the thunder rolls. Is my mood determined by the weather? Sounds like rubbish to me but it beats blaming it on me now doesn’t it!

Nevertheless, seriously, the weather has gotten worse since this morning. The southern part of the country has already seen extensive flooding and up here in the north are going to be receiving it tonight. Goody. You can’t even say that it will cool the temperatures because it will be just as hot as it was today, this is the weather we are supposed to have in July, not wearing sweatshirts and pants like last week!

worldy chatter, Dutch Weather

Absolute madness! That is what I have to say about my morning in Amsterdam. I had to go to the consulate to an affidavit of my single status in America. I need this so I can marry Dutchie, as you know. So, I take the 8:22 train this morning from Hilversum to Amsterdam Central and get there around 9:00. According to the site, I can take the 2, 5, 16 or 24 tram to get there. After going to two different money exchange places and an ATM on Damrak I saw the number 2 come in so I took that. I wanted to be there around 9:30 – 9:45 so I can actually get this done because the hours to do anything are from 8:30-11:30am.
I hop on, stamp my strippenkaart and take a seat. I go ALL the way to the end of the line! There wasn’t one stop for Museumplein throughout the whole ride! I get on the tram heading back and get off at Leidseplein knowing that Museumplein is nearby. This on its own has killed nearly 35 minutes of my morning mind you and I still had to head in the general direction of the consulate. I go that way and find myself at a money exchange place. I ask where to go and he tells me I have to continue to go straight and head towards the Museums but it would be easier if I waited for the 5 tram, it will stop right in front. I head towards the tram stop but see that only the 7 and 10 tram are coming this direction, it is now 10:30. I know I have an hour to figure this out so I have a smoke and wait, and wait and wait. Only the 7 and 10 trams have stopped here. Therefore, I head up again; following the kind mans directions and find myself between the Rijksmuseum and the Van Gogh Museum. Now, I know what you are thinking, this means I am close right! Museums mean Museumplein, your finding it girl!

That’s what you think!

I stop at one of those little souvenir stands that sells Van Gogh t-shirts and other such stuff and ask the woman tending it as to where I am to go, I know I have to be close after all. She states to go right and past the field, the Museum Park, and then right diagonally. All right, let’s do this! I go, looking for the consulate, I walk past the field and head right after that. I am starting to freak out here. I am not seeing it. I have now circled Van Gogh 3 times! I bump into some men who are cleaning and working in the park. They ask me what is wrong so I tell them I am lost; I need to get to the consulate. He tells me I am headed in the right direction, just keep taking this road all the way down and on the left will be the consulate. This calms me some. Only some mind you. It is pouring buckets here and I didn’t bring the umbrella. I go and do this where I end up on a street I have never seen before and further freak. I am actually now crying I am freaking so bad! Not only have I circled Van Gogh 3 times but I have also ended up on Leidseplein 4 times and have circled the entire length of the Rijksmuseum twice, circled the park 3 times I believe and have now found myself on a street I don’t know where is and still have not found the consulate! I walk up the street the kind workers said I was supposed to be on and look up and down for the consulate. No, nothing, nada, NIKS!

I walk back down the road and head back to the road I don’t know, there is a payphone there and a tram stop. Now, do you remember the cell phone I bought the other day? I bought twenty-euro worth of minutes with it; I just forgot to add it! So I have no minutes on my phone while I am lost, crying and freaking! I call Dutchie and she informs me there is no point in looking further, its 11:15. Bugger off! I took off work to do this and got nothing done!

I get on the tram and headed back to the station. I grab a sandwich and cappuccino before catching the train back to Hilversum.

You see, dear readers, I have the directional skills of a lamppost! I panic when I am lost despite my best efforts not to. I was supposed to have this done today and now have to go back next week. Dutchie has offered to go with and I feel bad because of it. I should be able to do this darn it all. Take the 2, 5, 16, 24 tram and get on Museumplein where the consulate will be.
American Citizen Services
U.S. Consulate General
Museumplein 19
1071 DJ Amsterdam
The Netherlands

Simple right? Uh huh, right…

American Consulate, Museumplein, Wordly Chatter, Directions, Amsterdam

So, I finally have myself a cell phone; neat little flip phone with camera and other such things. Its black and tiny and, well, cute! With my recent ventures all over Holland with work I was unable to call anyone to say I was done, come get me! I was unable to tell Dutchie I would be late on these days. So, Dutchie and myself were looking at it and playing with all the settings when something came to her mind.

When I was staying with my mother a few years back Dutchie would call my mother’s cell or house because it was incredibly cheaper for her to call me rather than me calling her. Even with an international plan, you simply cannot beat the fact that I can call the US for 1 cent to 4 cents a minute, depending on whether it is peak times or not. Now because Dutchie was calling I assumed that my mother’s cell phone would not be charged for any of the calls. What would it matter then how many times she called? After all, Dutchie reasoned, when someone calls her cell she doesn’t get charged for it, only when she calls out. Makes sense to me too so call away! That’s what she did and the calls came in! I missed her darn it all and she was so far away!

It was all running so nicely until my mother got her cell phone bill. This was just one month of calls and it was roughly once a day, maybe every other day, and the phone bill was (take a deep breath) over six hundred dollars! 600 big ones for Dutchie calling me! My mouth dropped, Dutchie was stunned and my mother and stepfather, well to say the least, were not impressed! How could this have been? I called her a handful of times for just a second or so, just long enough for her to answer and tell her to call me back, and then hang up. This was not $600 worth of second calls here! Her cell actually got charged for Dutchie calling me! However when I think back on it I had a cell, prepaid, where if someone called me it sucked up my minutes like someone had let the faucet running! I remember this well now that I think on it. In CT, where I had the prepaid, if someone called it would take minutes away just as if I had called. How could I have forgotten such a huge thing, an expensive thing!

I once again have a prepaid and there are some differences indeed! For one, if someone calls me I won’t be charged for the call, no matter how long we chat it up. Of course I can simply go online and add more minutes, very nice feature and the rates aren’t all that bad actually. It is nine cents to text and 35 cents per minute, not too shabby for a prepaid at all. We shopped around and some places were fifty cents per minute. There was one company that was twenty-five cents but I didn’t like the phone and it didn’t have a camera. Fussy I know.

The point is this. It still astounds me about the differences I experience. Something so large as foods and languages to the way phone plans are set up. I suppose that I will still experience them for some time to come, I mean if they have been happening for all this time and there is more to experience I am still in for a shock or two!

worldly chatter, prepaid cell phones, cell phone plans

This weekend in Almere-Buiten was Western Experience and since I had never been, Dutchie thought it best if I finally experience what she had been telling me about for years now. I admit, I was picturing cowboy hats, wranglers and lots of country music with line dancing and I wasn’t disappointed, I saw plenty of that but I got a bit more than I had originally thought. The definition of western experience as defined by the average Dutch person today: The American country and Midwestern lifestyle. Cowboys and Indians, Dr. Quinn medicine woman, country music, country line dancing and just line dancing. There are cowboy hats, chaps, raccoon tails, Native American garb and American beer! Dutchie is a lover of country music, she also used to line dance as well, competing and even taking home a metal, Benelux ‘99 2^nd Place Country Walkin’ Female Open Newcomer! Go Dutchie! Yet Dutchie doesn’t do this anymore and there is a really good reason as I saw yesterday.
She danced to country, she line danced because she loves country music and wanted a place to go and have fun; meet other people who share the same passion as she does in a country not very big on country music. Yet something changed along the way; younger people wanted in and the music changed. J-Lo, Will Smith, Pussy Cat Dolls; see where I am going with this. If you do it for the music and the music goes, what do you do it for then? In Holland, very few Line Dancing groups line dance to country now a day. It has also become more of a lifestyle for many of these people; a place to where the chaps, cowboy hats and dress up like the sheriff, Dr Quinn and have the Native American feel.
This is what many people, who have never been to America, think America is. Yet who are we as American to complain, we think of Holland and think windmills wooden shoes and the girls from the Rembrandt paintings. This was quite the experience! In one line dance group they wore shirts that Garth Brooks would have worn yet weren’t very good at what they were doing. Further still was another group of people line dancing to Rihanna and other pop music! Dutchies were getting on the dance floor and line dancing to music that you find in dance clubs, not country! There was however one group that made Dutchie proud! A group who really did country line dance and did it very well! They had fun, they danced great and it was country! Yvonne & Starlines! Now they had fun and they were great to watch! You see the hat there, that’s the tails I was telling you about. Can anyone remember the last time cowboys wore those things? But really, not all Dutchies think these things are the way of the American Midwest or country music for that matter. Dutchie likes to tell me that those who believe this give the rest a bad name who know what country is and know that America doesn’t live in the cowboys and Indian phase any more. I tend to agree. Yet even with all the funny clothes and hats some of the music was good and the Starlines really shined with their good old country line dancing! I had a lot of fun though I admit it is strange to see how some view my country. There are some who see it for what it is today but there are some out there who have fun dressing as though we are in Tombstone!

Western Experience, Cowboys and Indians, Dutch Line Dancing, Country Music, Line Dancing, Yvonne & Starlines

When they tell you they want you to integrate into your new society they neglect to tell you that the help they offer comes at a snail’s pace! I would love to lay out €500 – 1000 or more for Dutch language classes so that I would actually have a better shot of getting a job but here we are. I looking for work and getting rejections because of my Dutch and the government saying integrate with no integration in sight! You just have to love how governments work.
By going through the town of Hilversum for my integration I can have it cost me nothing or close to nothing for my classes. That also means I will be certified in my new language and a certificate to prove as much. This would greatly improve my chances of work. The government is so good at saying we have to do this and we have to do that as expats yet are, for some reason, unable to give us that which they say we need! Why is that? Now I know it does not matter that this is the Dutch government, this could be the US government or anyone else and it would still take just as long. Why, because that is the way it works, I suppose. Just because you were granted your permit and sofi-number doesn’t mean the waiting and hell is over. Just means it is a new form of hell out there for you to experience. Being as this is my first time gaining residence in another country, I was truly unprepared for the ins and outs one can experience. There is no way to truly prepare for the hair pulling and waiting that goes on.
I search and apply for work, I have even gone on a couple of interviews but nothing as of yet and I am watching the bills pile with no hope of helping in paying them. Frustration is setting in more than I want to admit. Uselessness fills my head and I am really beginning to see why some expats get depressed. The waiting, the wondering and the uselessness you feel can really consume you if you let it. I will look every day until I have something and I will be as patient as I can be until I get somewhere with the integration people. I will try to keep my happy mentality and think positively on the whole thing but for the moment I am frustrated and want to bury myself in a whole. Tomorrow will be better… Tomorrow will be better.

Integration, Adaptation, American Expat, Netherlands

My house is in shambles right now. The covers are off the couch cushions, laundry started, the bed looks worse than the couch! Actually, the whole thing looks like I ran through it like a tornado. I am tired and antsy and it feels that no amount of coffee is helping me to wake up! I do not even know what it is I want to write! I go from listening to Justin Timberlake to Avril to Linkin Park and Dixie Chicks! My home needs straightening from my mornings mess with the laundry, beds sheets and couch cushions. There are moments where I am ready to cry my eyes out and other moments where I am busy and ignoring any impulse to indulge my emotions.

This is my first day without a cigarette, can you tell?

I am pondering a fourth cup of coffee while I tend to my allergy pills, vitamins and then cranberry pills and Echinacea because you guessed it; that time of the month had to hit today of all days. My body screams Midol yet I do not have any and I say this with a pitifully sad face! Midol is great stuff and the fact that I simply cannot get it over here still drives me batty! Since I cannot I take my cranberry and Echinacea with Aleve.

That is definitely one thing I love about Europe, it is so easy to find herbal remedies. They trust it a lot more than Americans I think. There is this store near our home that I positively love. De Tuinen, would translate into the garden if you’re curious. You can find so much there! That is where I found stuff for Dutchies joints. It is also where I found St John’s Wart for Dutchie. I cannot take this in large quantities like Dutchie can, I cannot take anti depressants, but I can take it in smaller doses in teas. Therefore, the plan is that if I get at all un-nerved today or need a small pick me up during this process there is St John’s Wart tea in the house. It sounds like I cannot take much, which is true in some cases. Antibiotics, anti depressants (prescribed to quit smoking) and even some painkillers I just cannot take. It is easier to try herbal remedies rather than sitting down with another doctor to get something to help me.

I am now on that fourth cup of coffee. I am going to start cleaning before I get too fidgety at my desk! Wish me luck!

quitting smoking, menstrual cycle, herbal remedies, De Tuinen

There are days where I simply lack the ability to write. I don’t know what to write or how to write it. Today is one such day and I am fearful. My absence yesterday is not helping and with so much going on, I am finding it rather difficult to concentrate. It has been a mentally exhausting week; Momma Dutchie is in the hospital in Den Haag. We are over an hour away so we have only been able to visit her on Saturday to Sunday and then Wednesday to Thursday; not nearly as much as Dutchie and I would like but with money tight and the distance between us, we simply cannot hop in the car and drive every morning to Den Haag.
The distance only adds to the already exhausting, painful week. Momma Dutchie is sick and not much that they can do for her. My thoughts rest on her and with Dutchie who is desperately trying to hang on. My heart feels heavy and my stomach turns and not much wants to settle. I want so much to be there for Dutchie and Momma Dutchie, be of some use but what is there to do? I can be here and that is about all I can do, it is a painful revelation.
I apologize, dear readers that I did not write yesterday. I was not near a computer and did not have the mind set to write something quirky, funny and productive. It is looking as though it is the same today but I have to put forth some effort right. After all, I have another one to write, make up for yesterday and I am near a computer again. I must try. I will have something better, something more enjoyable to read. I just ask for your patience and understanding. I will have it up shortly.

In Yahoo news, there was an article on health care in the US verses four other countries done in this survey. Germany, Canada, Britain and Australia all have better coverage but with less money. It is well known that America has ridiculous prices, poor coverage with approximately forty million uninsured. “The U.S. health care system ranks last compared with five other nations on measures of quality, access, efficiency, equity, and outcomes,” the non-profit group which studies health care issues said in a statement. Many people get their medications now via internet through Canada because the cost of prescriptions is so high that many people cannot afford the very thing that makes them well.

I had a conversation with a friend the other day from America about coverage and payment when it comes to health insurance. This person informed me they pay $280 every two weeks for health insurance. I gasped when I heard this! Now that I am insured, I pay €150 a month and because Dutchie belongs to the ANWB, the equivalent of AAA, I get a five percent discount on my payments. My coverage is more accessible, more extensive than my friend is and it is half of what she pays. I have a five-page list of absolutely everything covered and some of it I never even thought should be covered! Certain plastic surgeries I thought would be electives and discounts at participating gyms! Pain killers are covered where once I had to pay. I can recall, with good coverage through a company I was working for, having co-pay and I still had to pay for the braces for my hand. Here I do not have co-pay and any brace I may need is covered. I can recall having to pay for the ambulance ride with state funded insurance and yet even under the most basic coverage that ride is covered. How can it be so easy in countries like Holland, Germany and Britain and so expensive in America? It is a sad state when forty million Americans aren’t insured. Here it is required that everyone be covered and approximately 150,000 – 200,000 are not insured. Compare that to forty million.

Even the difference in the way patients are treated in America still gets to me. It all depends on your insurance and money. I know no one wants to say it but there is a difference in where you can go, whether you get the help you need and how they treat you. I have seen it and experienced it. Everyone is equal until you open your wallet. I understand that medical costs money but why turn someone away simply because their insurance isn’t adequate enough, why not tell them where they can go to get help? Reason is that there aren’t many places any more that take people who don’t have the means. When I lacked insurance I could not get seen for the bronchitis I had because there wasn’t a facility near me that would see someone poor like me. I had to drive forty minutes to see someone at a clinic that didn’t have the antibiotics I could take because I am allergic to so many. So if I don’t have the gas money to go and they aren’t are not able to give me what I need then what is the point? I am stuck with bronchitis and pray it doesn’t get worse. It did of course and I had to be rushed to the ER where I then received a bill for nearly $800 for the whole affair. Again, where was I to get that kind of money? The system isn’t fair, the system is flawed and inadequate.

It just seems astonishing to me the differences in benefits, coverage and overall treatment in Europe compared to America. I am covered when I travel where if I wanted that coverage that was extra. Of course, with the traveling done and klutz I tend to be this is a needed feature in my coverage! Remembering what I had and looking at what I have now it just blows me away. I cannot believe all the things I can take care of with little to no fuss now. I was once covered in America. Once through the state and once through a company I worked with. The differences in that alone were drastic but even with the good insurance I had it doesn’t beat this and I pay so much less! I suppose it is just one more difference I see along the way.

US Healthcare system, Medical insurance, European medical coverage, ORHA, Netherlands medical insurance