Worldly Chatter

When I go out into the world I live in, I often ponder, do I stand out still or do I blend? Have I gotten down the Dutch ways enough? Well, while my family was here, I actually got to watch them and see how they mingle or struggle within this overwhelmingly different society and I actually saw how much I have adapted, accepted and blended within Holland. I actually sat back a time or two and watched how the four of them got on here and the variations were astonishing to me even though they are all New Yorkers and family. I had assumed that the reactions and handling of their new surroundings would be at least a tad similar. I was so wrong, at least with one New Yorker. I imagine I will ruffle a few feathers but what can I do about it, I write it as I see it right? Anyway, it is rather important to me to write about some observations on my step mother; not to have her stand out and point fingers at her, rather it is to make a point that I will get to.

Now, I have no problems doing touristy things here in Holland or anywhere else, I thoroughly enjoy them actually. I haven’t any trouble trying something new; I moved here didn’t I, so I had to be ok with it. When you go on vacation or simply try something new, there should always be a certain level of openness to it all. Expect it to be different, at least to a degree. Also, especially going to a different country, you should always expect the unexpected; realize that language will be different as will the customs. It is what makes the world go round, the many cultures I mean. It adds a little color and flare to life and, in theory that is part of why one goes on vacation. My step mother wants to do the really touristy stuff, the tour guides mentioned in the books you can buy at your local Barns and Nobel. These tours already expect non locals and will adapt to you to keep people like you, and your money, coming. What happens when you stray ever so slightly away from the tourist hot spots mentioned in the books? You get a woman who freaks out, gets pissy and demands something that reminds her, even if vaguely, of home sweet home.

This is my problem. You are in Holland, in a town that isn’t well known for tourism, can you really expect the menus to be in English while being in a Dutch nation? No, not really. Yet, there she was demanding to the waitress that there be a wine list in English at a Argentinean restaurant we went to in a little part of Hilversum. We also went to a pub in Hilversum and went to that waitress demanding an English menu in a snippy, condescending attitude. The waitress kindly pointed out the English at the bottom of every item but was quite snippy to my step mother thereafter. The Dutch attitude is simple; I give to you what you give to me.

You see, Europeans look at Americans in one of two ways, usually. There is the selfish, pompous, arrogant American who worships the stars and stripes and will not accept anything that is non-American, to the point of trashing or snarling at anything that is remotely different than what they know. When they go to places like Europe, they have a tendency to look down on European customs and traditions because in most cases, they are drastically different than the average American lifestyle. My step mother, when we went to Amsterdam, looked down on the laws that make this land, particularly the Coffee Shops, where you purchase your marijuana, the prostitution and the laid back nature of the people. Now Amsterdam is a major city yet, to a New Yorker, this is still a slow city. It is more laid back than what is familiar to the New Yorker. When you go out to eat, the service is more relaxed and slower; it is the same with pretty much everything else you do in the city. There is a reason why it is called a New York Minute and nothing else. I admit it was hard to adapt to the laid back nature of the Dutch but like my brother said, you’re on vacation, just relax and go with it. It was another thing she could not get over. It seemed every meal there was a complaint.

My brother was a true champion through it all. He did chatted with the locals when he went out, even danced with a few Dutchie’s and got the concept real quick; enjoy your stay and remember that what you give a Dutchie, they will give back. I recall him telling us about a bar he went to where they asked him what he thought of President Bush. After the surprise of being asked right off, he answered and had a wonderful chat with said Dutchie. Dutchie’s want to know if you are the first American tourist or the second one they see; the laid back, open minded person who is in it to enjoy himself and not criticize the world to their faces. Since a lot of Europeans see this second American less frequently than they do the first, are a little reserved about us Americans. What will we be like? What will we say and do to upset the balance or will they embrace the balance?

Try this on for size. If you are an American and you have pride for your country, is there anything wrong with that? Absolutely not. Is there anything wrong with getting into a debate over your country, argue a point and back up the patriotism you hold? Absolutely not. What I find annoying is when you have faith and pride for something and someone voices their opinion that doesn’t match your own and you end the conversation because you don’t see it that way then I have issue. We have every right to express our thoughts even if it doesn’t match yours. Just brushing us off and telling us that America is the greatest nation on the planet and you will defend it but don’t actually do so; what is that about? She actually sat there telling us that it was the greatest nation on the planet and she would defend it while we were having a conversation about Bush and the administrative policies and then had the nerve to say that it didn’t matter anyway because what goes on in the white house doesn’t affect us anyway. Say what?

I can understand that a person of religious convictions would not be too keen on attending a lesbian wedding. I respect that and will do what I can to make you comfortable without compromising my happiness or comfort. My step mother couldn’t attend due to those convictions yet attended the reception and it was the reason that puzzled me some. Because I was the daughter of her husband, she would attend. A little odd but alright, I can work with that. She did congratulate us but thought it odd that this country allow gay marriage. When I pointed out that there was no distinction between straight marriage and gay marriage here in the Netherlands she was surprised by this. Isn’t it separate but equal? No, this isn’t America, we actually have rights here just like everyone else.

Yet I think the one thing I have lingering emotion for is the next day, after the wedding, when we went to see Momma Dutchie. My father had some pictures on his digital camera so we were able to show her some and she gave me a token to show I was a part of the family. A necklace that belonged to her mother, she gave to me to show that she loved me, accepted me as a member of the family and a gift of sorts to say all that. We both cried and it was a touching, loving moment for Dutchie, Momma Dutchie and myself. My step mother was in the corner of the room and was going on about how there was so much to do now that we were in Den Haag and we just had to get to Delft at a reasonable time so she could get back to the hotel at a decent time. I had spoken to my father about going weeks in advance. This was my mother in law and I wanted her to meet my dad. It was quite important to me and he understood that. We were in her room and decided to have some coffee with her in the diner downstairs so we got her oxygen and chair ready and off we went. It was a lovely time, dad tried to converse with her despite his lack of Dutch and sis in law and Dutchie helped in his quest. My step mother sat there, impatient, non talkative and kept looking at her watch. Of all the things to do, Momma Dutchie could not attend so we went to her so she could congratulate us and meet my father and she pushed and tried to rush the whole thing, making Momma Dutchie, Dutchie and I feel insignificant to her master plans of seeing Holland.

We spent two hours in Den Haag and two hours in Delft; that is what she rushed everyone for. Shopping and to complain about the weather and the slowness of it all.

The reason I vent, the reason I point her out above all else is because this is what Europeans talk about when they talk about rude Americans coming over the pond. A self absorbed, arrogant, ignorant person who won’t even try to appreciate the place they came to. If you come to a place to visit then don’t do this, don’t be so unappreciative or complete about every little thing to their faces. Remember, you went to them, they didn’t come to you so show some respect for where you are at.

worldy chatter, rambles, American tourists

It is always interesting to talk with Dutchies about my country. The opinions vary so much and it fascinates me to hear them. A co-worker of Dutchies that is gay and has an American man and just as Dutchie has me, they live here in Holland, however, the difference between us is that her Dutch co-worker would actually like to live in America where Dutchie does not. Why would he want to live in a country that doesn’t accept who he is, why accept that when where you live right now accepts you and allows you everything you want? Dutchie and I do not understand it.

Today I was doing a run with a couple of co-workers in this small town Baarn. It was miserable and frustrating but the people were friendly and when we were done we met up and chatted while waiting for a few more workers to meet us. We got into America and how she thought it was interesting the news that is broadcasted there and how it is here. I have noticed the difference in the news and how they portray a story and it is scary, absolutely scary to me. I can just picture the American reading this saying, ‘what do you mean?! There isn’t anything wrong with our news! They give us the facts and it is in a timely fashion!’ Please, I was in the same bubble once and it sucks when you sit down to watch news here and its right there, no bull, can be harsh, and is definitely real. We knew about stuff that the American media didn’t report for a day or so later. I can easily recall chatting with friends and family in America and I would tell them what was on the news and they wouldn’t get the story for a day or two later. A week or more has happened but those are rare.

Other things that came up were the health care, food and its costs and much, much more. She actually got that things are not as they appear in vacation get a ways to Disney and fancy hotels in NY or LA. Things are real and they can be ugly. They are like that in other countries but its aggravating that people have a perfect picture of a country that they have either never been to or never left the theme park. They assume the role of expert, actually go to me, and say ‘no, that can’t be! I was there and I didn’t see any of that!’ Vacation and living are two different things people. I don’t sit there and say Holland is perfect, though admit there are definite perks, I admit that things suck here. The fact that I am fearful that my agent at the job agency will call and say they don’t need me anymore. I get aggravated at Dutch political policies just as I do with America and doubly hate the really small roads. Everything has its ups and downs and not one place can possibly be perfect.

Yet this co-worker actually admitted these things and didn’t lecture me on my own country or call me crazy. She listened, gave her opinion and it was a solid intelligent conversation. I had one two weeks ago that was more corrective in nature than conversational; I apparently being the one needing the correction.

Whatever I suppose. I am tired and had a long day. It was something that fancied my fast crashing brain. I am going to get me some good sleep because tomorrow is theme park time!

worldy chatter, America, expats, europeans, european opinions

Goede Morgen! Hoe gaat het met jou? Of, hoe gaat het? Morgen! Is er koffie? Pretty much this is how my day starts. I hear chattering about, people saying morgen as the employees walk in and people going on about coffee. Today was slightly different. Is er koffie? Er is geen koffie! What do you mean there is no coffee! First thing in the morning, this is ten to eight, and there is no coffee! Our coffee machine is broken! We have this machine where there is like, five different kinds of coffee and hot water and some other neat features. A contraption is what it really is and it cannot give us coffee! So we were all going er is geen koffie! By ten this morning we had a pot brewing so we could have coffee on our coffee break. Someone bellowed coffee and we stared at him with an evil eye until he told us there really was coffee made. I tell you, I have never seen people move so fast up the stairs to the kitchen! The face of the machine was open and all of its guts exposed. I think we all glared at the evil thing, all we wanted was coffee and it decided that no, there was no coffee to be had today. How dare the thing!

Let me tell you something about the Dutch and their coffee. It is like the English and their tea; it is necessary and you can be sure that at ten, twelve and three there are Dutchies and Brits have their coffee and tea. In some work places, they allow coffee on a constant basis, such as Dutchies job. She is always having coffee at her desk. Now do not assume its just coffee with the Dutch, they love their tea just as much. Tea and coffee is offered at nearly home you go to and it looks as though everyone around you is drinking something all the time! Brilliant I say until the contraption malfunctions and I have no coffee! I love our Senseo Machine. A coffee pad and some water and I have coffee. No contraption required! We have coffee pads, instant coffee and coffee for a coffee pot we no longer own in our home. I broke the pot, why we have the Senseo Machine. We have a variety of teas to choose from and believe me we drink them all.

It is ALL about the coffee! The Dutch and Brits have it right. Coffee breaks are a must and literally the entire warehouse shuts down to have a cup! Coffee, coffee, coffee! Is er koffie? Ja, tuurlijk!

coffee, coffee breaks, Dutch coffee, Senseo Coffee Worldly Chatter, British tea

The new American Idol is… How would I know? Why would I care? According to CNN, 17-year-old Jordin Sparks and has quite the voice. Yet I don’t know this you see. I have my own Idol’s show to watch in Dutch! Few years back we had this person Jim Bakkum who came in second at 15 years of age in ‘Idol’s’! I personally fell for the boy when he did our version of Dancing with the Stars (2005) with his English partner Julie Fryer. My goodness, Dutchie and I were voting for them! I did love that show; cheering at the edge of my seat as Jim and Julie danced away! We started to watch the second season but we stopped watching. We simply forgot it was on.
Here is where I get a little lost. If I type in American Idol or just Idol there are thousands of pages to search through. It is in the top ten of blog pages and tags. It is just another reality show and people all over the world are hooked. Why? In our version simply titled Idols people here are just as crazed. It is the conversation on radios, news and work. Even on expat forums they chat about this version and the version back home. It is this huge fad and I just don’t get it. When someone asked me, ‘did you see who won?’ I reminded them of where I was and they went, ’so’ as if I could just flip a channel to watch this. ‘It’s American Idol!’ they stressed. I have my own to watch. ‘It’s not the same and I am sure it isn’t as good.’ Well, now I am insulted. Just because it comes from American does not mean it is the s**t. It just doesn’t but my kind friend felt differently. It is different and you just don’t know that. Really?
I go on youtube.com to watch some clips. Old pieces, new contestants and of course I can always recall what Idols was like here at home. What is the difference? There isn’t so far as I could see. Same with Dancing with the Stars; well, it is cool to see a football player practically float on air, I will give you that. But really, what is so big about all this. It is all the same isn’t it; just a reality show? A place for people to show of talent, or lack of talent and we watch on our sofas. I learned that there are over 27 versions of Dancing with the Stars all over the world. American Idol is broadcasted over several countries with other countries participating in the Idol Network. I asked my friend to watch a version of ours. Just type in Idol, Nederland (Netherlands) and see what happens. I’ll be damned, it is all just the same. Finally, he sees it my way! It just sounded strange due to language but it was in fact just as good, or tacky depending on your opinion. However, what is it about this show? No matter where you are or what language it is in, it is just as big and in my opinion just as tacky! Can someone tell me?

Idols, American Idol, Dancing with the Stars

While watching the news today something got Dutchie infuriated and I cannot fault her either. It was the new immigration plan to allow undocumented workers in the US prior to January 2007 immediate authorization to work. They would have to pay a five thousand dollar penalty plus the costs of paperwork and processing. There are stipulations about leaving and coming back. There is a process where they work for two years, leave for a year, come back for two years and do it twice more, a points merit system. Heads of households have to go back to their native country within eight years with guarantees of coming back. There are a few different ways to enter according to new policy. It is a 380-page plan so the details are far from all here but there would be a way to make these illegal’s, legal despite the hardships of leaving and paying the fine, which can be paid over time according to CNN.

I, as you are aware, took the legal way to gaining residence to the Netherlands. Rules that I had abide by just so that the IND would give me a pink card. I had to pay the process fees that ended up costing over € 1000, had to make sure I had more than adequate insurance coverage and a place to stay. Dutchie had to make sure that she had a contract with a company either one year or permanent. She had to make a certain amount of money to sponsor me and prove that she could take care of me without government aide. I never took a job from any Dutch person, never asked for money or assistance from the government or any other agency. I landed, let myself be known to the IND and once I got my permit I went and got my tax number, a bank card, I made the appropriate calls to get integration underway and am currently looking for employment. It was a struggle at times to come up with the money; it took a lot of hard work on Dutchies part to gain that permanent contract and financial means to sponsor me. Yet we did it and did it legally. I cannot help but feel that these illegals are being handed something sweet for breaking the law.

There are no legal means for me to bring Dutchie to America legally. There is no job awaiting her and this is not a heterosexual relationship therefore there isn’t a way. Yet people who break the law and hide now given a chance to stay. How is this right? I fully understand that there are people who feel that my relationship is wrong somehow given squat. Whether I like the attitudes and judgments placed upon me and my relationship, I understand they are there. However, even with the judgments and less than equal treatments, I have not done anything wrong. I have not broken the law done absolutely nothing to merit this treatment. I must move away from my home to be happy. Yet someone breaking the law, hiding and taking jobs from Americans are going to be granted access to the country I cannot bring my partner into! Dutchie has done nothing wrong; she has broken no laws and done nothing to be denied the right to enter into the country that screams land of opportunities.

If you break the law, you should be punished, not rewarded. If this goes through it is saying what they did is fine, come on in anyway. Telling them they have to pay a penalty and have to go back now and again is the only punishment I can see and it is a slap on the wrist as far as I am concerned. Every single illegal would be granted rights and privileges allowed under the American law.

Illegals are given this opportunity. This is going to clean up the illegals and bring them from the shadows and into the light according to President Bush, into society and out of hiding and shame. Where is my opportunity? I would be able to care for her, provide for her and without the aid of the government. Where is the opportunity for people who want to come to America the legal way?
If it sounds like I am complaining it is because I am. It is the only way to make enough noise sometimes. It is the only way to be heard. I had to leave my country and if the country were as equal, fair and everything else I was told as a child then I would not have had to leave it. I am an American and I am pissed off because it feels as though being an American gets you squat. People breaking the law are being granted something I would do the legal way. Do not break the law and then expect people to bend over backwards for you to let you stay but that is what is going on. Politicians finding a way to appease the American public and the illegal’s in the country with little success. They are only appeasing the illegal’s. I don’t get it, I simply do not get it. Saying it is ok to be illegal, break the law, we will reward you! I don’t understand, I don’t see any of this working.

Immigration policies, American illegals, American immigration policies, gay rights, illegal immigrant rights, granting access to America

I recently read something on NY Governor Eliot Spitzer and his legislature for same sex marriage in New York; Governor Eliot Spitzer’s same sex marriage hoax. According to the writer, there was no law in New York that denies the right to marriage for gay couples. In fact, the writer goes to say that the law is not gender specific and the only thing standing in the way is in the Department of Health where they state it is between one man and one woman. Could it really be that simple? Governor Spitzer could simply change the wording in the Department of Health documents pertaining to marriage by executive order and same sex couples can marry? No legislature necessary; can it be?

There was a letter written from the Attorney General’s office to Darrin B Derosia from the City of Cohoes in NY and Peter Graham from the town of Olive in NY back in 2004 addressing this very issue. It gave an overview of the Domestic Relations Law, formal requirements, voidable marriages, annulments and divorces. It states that parties must be of age and capable in law of making a contract. The entire overview of this law is in fact not gender specific, only parties and persons used in reference to those who intend on marrying. It also does not include requirements that marred persons be of the opposite sex nor does it declare invalid marriages between persons of the same sex. The section of “absolutely void” or “voidable” makes no mention of same sex marriage. In fact, it makes no mention of it either for or against the marriage of persons of the same sex. Yet, with all this, it is the opinion of the office is that the Domestic Relations Law is not intended to authorize same sex marriage based on historical intentions and wording stated in some passages in the law. The letter states that ‘the Attorney General issues formal opinions only to officers and departments of State government. Thus, this is an informal opinion rendered to assist you in advising the municipality you represent.’ Attorney General Letter

State of New York Department of Health does mention bride and groom when referring how to obtain a marriage license in the state of New York.

In the case Hernandez v. Robles 2006 in the court of appeals, the opinion of the court states ‘we hold that the New York Constitution does not compel recognition of marriages between members of the same sex. Whether such marriages should be recognizes is a question to be addressed by legislature.’ In the discussion aspect of the decision states the following. ‘All the parties of these cases now acknowledge, implicitly or explicitly, that the Domestic Relations Law limits marriage to opposite sex couples. Some, however, suggest that the statute can be read to permit same sex marriage, thus mooting the constitutional issues. We find this untenable. Articles 2 and 3 of the Domestic Relations Law, which govern marriage, nowhere say in so many words that the only people of different sexes may marry each other, but that was the universal understanding when articles 2 and 3 were adopted in 1901, an understanding reflected in several statures. Domestic Relations Law § 12 provides that “the parties must solemnly declare… that they take each other as husband and wife.” Domestic Relations Law § 15(1)(a) requires town and city clerks to obtain specified information from “the groom” and “the bride.” Domestic Relations Law § 5 prohibits certain marriages as incestuous, specifying opposite-sex combinations (brother and sister, uncle and niece, aunt and nephew), but not same-sex combinations. Domestic Relations Law § 50 says that the property of “a married woman . . . shall not be subject to her husband’s control.” New York’s statutory law clearly limits marriage to opposite-sex couples. The more serious question is whether that limitation is consistent with the New York Constitution.’

Therefore, it really is not that simple is it. When I read the article, I wanted to think it was that simple, that the governor just refused to do something to make us equals in the eyes of New York. He had executive power to change what the Department of Health decreed as marriage. The article stated the legislation he proposed in April of this year was a hoax, a smoke screen to avoid doing all he could. Yet in my opinion the authors did not do all of its homework. The constitution of the state, legislative branch and judicial actions put forth the laws New Yorkers must follow. Within its very laws, it is vague and in the decision of the court of appeals state, this needs addressing by legislature. That is what Governor Spitzer is doing. I do not find compelling evidence that it is that simple as to change the wording in the Department of Health paperwork. As much as I or any other gay person in or from New York would like to believe it could be done with such ease, it is not. Nothing is ever that simple. The article gives us reason to believe he is not doing all he can. This article states there is something sinister and misleading in the Governor of NY. Spitzer has to contend with laws that give gender specifics, judicial decisions and a legislative branch that may or may not allow gay rights. Give him a chance to hold up the word he gave, he already put forth the legislature he said he would. Give it a chance to do something before condemning him misleading and his actions a hoax.

Governor Spitzer, State of New York, Gay rights, Gay Marriage, Domestic Relations Law of NY, same sex marriage

What does it mean to be American, un-American? Is the US the greatest country in the world? After reading a comment sent to me about my piece Opinions and Judgments, it struck me to really consider the comment and answer some questions I had stirring inside of me. What does it mean to be American to me or to anyone else for that matter? Being born on American soil gives us this claim but is it also a mentality we have? Living elsewhere and learning the behaviors and inner workings of another country I realize that part of being America is the mentality we have, the personalities and behaviors we acquire along the way. My behaviors and personality differ from those around me; our perception of the world varies.
Take for example, Natalie from the Dixie Chicks, who voiced her embarrassment and unhappiness towards the president and the war. The backlash from expressing her opinion was massive and uncalled for. It was her right as an American to utilize her freedom of speech. She used her right as an American to question the government and express displeasure over the war. Yet somehow the Dixie Chicks were banished from country radio as unpatriotic, she was labeled un-American. I am by no means as popular or influential as Natalie but when I am informed that my comments, opinions and questioning is un-American it gets under your skin and it made me wonder about the mentality of those I talked to as well as myself. When that happened people over here in the UK and Europe were wondering what the big deal was. She was by no means the only person who felt or expressed such sentiments. Everyone understood that this would not go over well with some people but some actually laughed at how dramatic Americans were acting, calling them childish and narrow minded. Not many people really understood why it got so big.
The definition of un-American- adj. Considered contrary to the institutions or principles of the United States. Not American; not characteristic of or proper to the U.S.; foreign or opposed to the characters, values, standards, goals, etc., of the U.S.

This reader, an American just as I, questions the government and its policies. This reader shares many opinions as I do but this reader lives in America. Therefore, is it ok to say whatever we like in the relative safety of the country and considered bad form to say it outside the borders? Natalie said it in the UK and part of the issue Americans had is that it took place on foreign soil. According to an American friend, it is considered bad form to talk about American policies and opinions with outsiders. If outsiders do it between themselves that is one thing because they do not know what it is like from the inside. If we share and mingle with outsiders on personal issues involving America and its people, it is wrong because it gives those outsiders a glimpse of something they do not have a right to see; it’s personal. I, as an American, should put this into account and not represent my country in such an open fashion. Is this true; am I representing my country in a manner I should not when in conversations here in Europe or when I write on-line?
I have come to a place where the way I think and express myself has changed. The Dutch have a way of being blunt in just about everything they say. They are not the sort of people who live by the saying: if you have nothing nice to say, you say nothing at all. While there are plenty of Americans do not live by this, many more taught it and are in favor of politeness over truth. I have seen it too often and lived it for twenty-five years to deny its existence. I have picked up this behavior of speak your mind no matter what and it does have its down sides yet it is also refreshing in many ways. One of those downsides is that it seems to agitate my American friends and families. They are not sure what to think of the change. I should not say this or I should not say that. This talk about expressing my opinions and sentiments about my country is one such topic where boundaries have been overstepped.
Another thing that gets me about the comment is the statement so many make about America being the greatest country in the world. I will not deny that my country has it a lot better than many countries out there yet I wonder where it all started for the same people that make this statement have not left the country. They take it on faith. I have seen in my travels and studies that there are countries that have, in my opinion, better qualities and my native land. Policies I favor, behaviors more open and honest and a cockiness that seems to dissipate once I leave the American borders. I can appreciate that. Many feel there is arrogance in America simply by being American and I have to agree. Just because I am American does not mean I am special. I am just as human as anyone else is and no more important than anyone else. Watching others view my country, I can see what they see. It is different from what Americans inside see, it is what the rest of the world sees and it humbles you as an American. It puts you in a place where you know America is not the only great nation out there.
Does any of this fit the definition; am I un-American?

American mentality, America the greatest nation, American Pride, opinions, expats, American Expat, Dixie Chicks, UK, Europe, European views on America, American arogance, living abroad

Recently I had a conversation about America and my view on it; am I getting all the headlines, do I know what is really going on? Do I really only pay attention to the politics of Europe now, ignoring my own country? Is it all about Europe and to hell with my own country? I wanted to ignore the question all together I must admit. I do care about what goes on in my own country; I make sure I stay on top of what is going on. It is not an easy thing to say to hell with my own country. Just the thought makes me feel as though I am ripping out half of my being. Yet the conversation came to a place where I could have loyalty to only one country, where did my heart really lie? Is that really the case; that my heart is only big enough as to have love for one country only? It seemed shallow to think so. I write on what I see, I write about the differences I experience and the things I learn. If I write about something that one or two Americans do not like does that mean I am ignorant to the ways of America? Is my opinion trash because I left? Some questions I put on the table and the person only danced around the answer. It is not that simple they stated. I had to maintain loyalty and a clear idea of what it means to represent my country.
A while back, I wrote about how when you travel or move abroad you automatically represent your country, for good or bad. It is hard to carry the weight of an entire nation when someone realizes where you come from. With all that is going on in America, from the president and congress, Iraq and now they cannot even tend to the disaster properly in Kansas as all resources sit in Iraq, people look at America as though they do not know what they are doing. It is becoming increasingly apparent that America is losing grip. Americans see it as do those around the world. So why is it so bad that I voice this outside the borders of America? It is because it is bad form that I give a less than perfect view to those outside, or so I’m told. Don’t hang dirty laundry out for others to see. I am to paint this beautiful picture of my country so that the people I interact with over in Europe will have a better view of America. Why does this rest on my shoulders? How can little old me combat what the rest of the world sees? It is not my responsibility and I tire of people saying it is. We all have a duty to our country and its representation to the rest of the world. Says who exactly?
I have been polite in my writing, I have been as patient and delicate as I can be and it sits on deaf ears. It isn’t enough, I am to drop it all and simply write about Holland, Germany and anywhere else I go and never mind the business, the politics of America as it does not concern me anymore. It most certainly does, I am still a citizen and I still have some rights and can use them. It is not as though what I have to say is heard across the globe and I write trash for the enemy to use. I simply express what I see, what matters to me and what I learn. How is this a vile thing and why am I criticized for it?
When I moved I did not think of it as me representing anyone or anything other than me. I did not put into consideration that I would change; I would become more open and clash with those I used to have so much in common. When I interact with my surroundings, I cannot help the differences I see, I cannot help but hear the opinions and judgments made on America. To be honest I am tired of defending and I am tired of the criticism when I do not defend. There is no middle ground with my fellow Americans; I am either for or against the land of the free. Despite my best effort that seems to be the consensus, I am either for or against and the fact that I vocalize my opinion is a big no, no.
Has what I have had to say that offensive? Do I need to be daintier and tip toe a little better to appease my American friends and readers? I thought I had already done my best to do that. I will write that I do not like the laws when it comes to marriage, I will write that I cannot stand the current president, the war in Iraq and I will write that I feel America is losing grip with everything it is trying to control and maintain. Should I shield it? No, I do not feel I should and almost kick myself that I have tried so hard to do so.
When I wrote about dodenherdenking, remembrance of the dead, liberation, Memorial Day, Veterans Day; some thought I had a point while others thought I stepped on toes and did not portray how America really sees its veterans and days devoted to them. Am I really to write that America takes these days serious when most of the country sees it as a barbeque? Yes, there are those who honor and respect these holidays but I feel as though the reason is lost and am informed I should not say such things. They are my feelings and opinions and I express it as such. It is just one example of what I hear because I live outside America. It is shallow and narrow minded to ask anyone to cover how he or she feels, to have them suppress their opinions.
I was going to write about something I saw on the news but it just struck me to write this. I am tired of the criticism and judgments but will no longer tip toe and dance to appease people because in the end I am always going to upset someone. It is a little off from what I normally write but then again, I write about my experiences as an expat and traveler right. This is just one side effect of it all I suppose.

Expats, American Expatriate, Netherlands, Europe, American opinions, American views, American freedoms, Judgments, opinionated people, judgmental people, writing, rambles, opinions