Worldly Chatter

I am sure you know dear readers that I am gay and there are people all around who aren’t happy with this. It really doesn’t matter where you are either; it can be in America or in Europe. Living in the Netherlands, where it is legal to marry and we are treated equally, it can be a true heartache to be gay with some people. I have had conversations where I was told I was blessed to living where I am and living under the laws I do. I know that full well; I am so fortunate to be where I am and who I am with. I have opportunities that many don’t have and I wish I could give it to everyone. Just to give them some of what I have would be a joy unto itself but I cannot as much as I would like. There are some who say I do not struggle any longer with some of the things I struggled with back home, discrimination and hatred for who I am. I wish that were so, boy do I!

I have felt the sting of rejection because of something I cannot change, I have been bashed and spat upon and had total damnation brought down on me. What is it about gays and lesbians that infuriate and frighten people? I know one individual who insists I am damned to hell for something, they say, I can change and willingly put myself through? Why would I choose this for myself and go through the experience of be rejected? Why would I say to someone, yes I am gay, knowing they will hate me and throw rocks in my direction and pray they hit me? Does this person know I cried at night to make it all go away? Do they know that I once actually prayed to have this taken away from me? No, they do not and it is because they never asked, they only condemned me. I once went through a period where an entire school found out and I was the girl everyone looked at, pointed at. I was the girl who knew what sand felt like in your face and knew the pain of rocks that were thrown. Friends leave you, teachers glare at you and family ponders over what they did. I was doomed to a life of discrimination and belittlement if I didn’t do something about ‘the problem’. And what would they have me do? Holy water, prayer, beatings and screams didn’t make it go away so what would? Very few asked anything and even fewer talked about it. Do they accept it? Do they even wonder if I do? Just a couple of the many questions I had that got no answers. I was simply the stupid girl; I was the girl damned for hell and a life of solitude and rejection. It was what I told myself at one point anyway since it was what I heard all the time. I know better now. I know there is a world out there for me and I embrace it every time I inhale.

Yet even now, after my marriage to my wife, I hear about how I need to repent, I need to read the bible and change my ways before it is too late. This person still hasn’t asked a single question to me other than why I haven’t gone to church. Would they ask anything? No, it is highly doubtful and the reason is because they are too hung up on their own thoughts and ways of living that they won’t see the world around them and see the feelings and thoughts of others. For once I would like this person to enter into an intelligent conversation with me on this without using the bible with every reason and simply listen. They never see what the constant badgering and bashing does to my heart. They never see what the rejection and belittling does to a soul already weary from the years of fighting. Twelve years after finding out, nothing has changed. The fight goes on and it truly breaks my heart and makes the tears fall, yet they don’t know that, they don’t care to. I respect their decision; I just wish they would respect me.

Here in the Netherlands, where it is legal to be equal, you can still see it. It isn’t just with the immigrants who come to this land or their children, some natives still look at it with a religious condemning heart. They stand back from you when they see you at the store. One or two word sentences with the same person who used to come to your home and hug you when they saw you. People tell me that things will change for me now that I am in a more accepting nation. People here won’t do what they do over there. They are right; they are more open and accepting. This is a nation that strives to make everyone equal. They may stubble and piss people off along the way but they do try. Yet one cannot blindly say that the nation and its people are all the same. People here can be just as cruel and ignorant as anyone else, just in my experiences here, there are not as many of them. Maybe it is because they cannot do much about it here or they are just quieter in nature but I don’t see it nearly as much, I know Dutchie was shocked when she went to America and saw how it can be there for gays and lesbians. She was truly surprised because here in the Netherlands it is very different. Yet you cannot say it is perfect, it will never be perfect and I know and accept that. I am truly blessed to be where I am, it just hurts sometimes to be so far. I still wish I could give a little of what I have here to people I love back home. I still desire to give them the acceptance here I live in.

Maybe the differences between these two nations on the issue will be seen clearer one day and people where I come from can see that it really does work here. Despite the imperfections that every nation has, this is a place to look at and say, hey look at how it works there… Maybe they won’t in my life time but then again, maybe I don’t give them enough credit. I just wish they would see.

worldly chatter, gay and lesbian, glbt rights, glbt freedoms, discrimination

When I go out into the world I live in, I often ponder, do I stand out still or do I blend? Have I gotten down the Dutch ways enough? Well, while my family was here, I actually got to watch them and see how they mingle or struggle within this overwhelmingly different society and I actually saw how much I have adapted, accepted and blended within Holland. I actually sat back a time or two and watched how the four of them got on here and the variations were astonishing to me even though they are all New Yorkers and family. I had assumed that the reactions and handling of their new surroundings would be at least a tad similar. I was so wrong, at least with one New Yorker. I imagine I will ruffle a few feathers but what can I do about it, I write it as I see it right? Anyway, it is rather important to me to write about some observations on my step mother; not to have her stand out and point fingers at her, rather it is to make a point that I will get to.

Now, I have no problems doing touristy things here in Holland or anywhere else, I thoroughly enjoy them actually. I haven’t any trouble trying something new; I moved here didn’t I, so I had to be ok with it. When you go on vacation or simply try something new, there should always be a certain level of openness to it all. Expect it to be different, at least to a degree. Also, especially going to a different country, you should always expect the unexpected; realize that language will be different as will the customs. It is what makes the world go round, the many cultures I mean. It adds a little color and flare to life and, in theory that is part of why one goes on vacation. My step mother wants to do the really touristy stuff, the tour guides mentioned in the books you can buy at your local Barns and Nobel. These tours already expect non locals and will adapt to you to keep people like you, and your money, coming. What happens when you stray ever so slightly away from the tourist hot spots mentioned in the books? You get a woman who freaks out, gets pissy and demands something that reminds her, even if vaguely, of home sweet home.

This is my problem. You are in Holland, in a town that isn’t well known for tourism, can you really expect the menus to be in English while being in a Dutch nation? No, not really. Yet, there she was demanding to the waitress that there be a wine list in English at a Argentinean restaurant we went to in a little part of Hilversum. We also went to a pub in Hilversum and went to that waitress demanding an English menu in a snippy, condescending attitude. The waitress kindly pointed out the English at the bottom of every item but was quite snippy to my step mother thereafter. The Dutch attitude is simple; I give to you what you give to me.

You see, Europeans look at Americans in one of two ways, usually. There is the selfish, pompous, arrogant American who worships the stars and stripes and will not accept anything that is non-American, to the point of trashing or snarling at anything that is remotely different than what they know. When they go to places like Europe, they have a tendency to look down on European customs and traditions because in most cases, they are drastically different than the average American lifestyle. My step mother, when we went to Amsterdam, looked down on the laws that make this land, particularly the Coffee Shops, where you purchase your marijuana, the prostitution and the laid back nature of the people. Now Amsterdam is a major city yet, to a New Yorker, this is still a slow city. It is more laid back than what is familiar to the New Yorker. When you go out to eat, the service is more relaxed and slower; it is the same with pretty much everything else you do in the city. There is a reason why it is called a New York Minute and nothing else. I admit it was hard to adapt to the laid back nature of the Dutch but like my brother said, you’re on vacation, just relax and go with it. It was another thing she could not get over. It seemed every meal there was a complaint.

My brother was a true champion through it all. He did chatted with the locals when he went out, even danced with a few Dutchie’s and got the concept real quick; enjoy your stay and remember that what you give a Dutchie, they will give back. I recall him telling us about a bar he went to where they asked him what he thought of President Bush. After the surprise of being asked right off, he answered and had a wonderful chat with said Dutchie. Dutchie’s want to know if you are the first American tourist or the second one they see; the laid back, open minded person who is in it to enjoy himself and not criticize the world to their faces. Since a lot of Europeans see this second American less frequently than they do the first, are a little reserved about us Americans. What will we be like? What will we say and do to upset the balance or will they embrace the balance?

Try this on for size. If you are an American and you have pride for your country, is there anything wrong with that? Absolutely not. Is there anything wrong with getting into a debate over your country, argue a point and back up the patriotism you hold? Absolutely not. What I find annoying is when you have faith and pride for something and someone voices their opinion that doesn’t match your own and you end the conversation because you don’t see it that way then I have issue. We have every right to express our thoughts even if it doesn’t match yours. Just brushing us off and telling us that America is the greatest nation on the planet and you will defend it but don’t actually do so; what is that about? She actually sat there telling us that it was the greatest nation on the planet and she would defend it while we were having a conversation about Bush and the administrative policies and then had the nerve to say that it didn’t matter anyway because what goes on in the white house doesn’t affect us anyway. Say what?

I can understand that a person of religious convictions would not be too keen on attending a lesbian wedding. I respect that and will do what I can to make you comfortable without compromising my happiness or comfort. My step mother couldn’t attend due to those convictions yet attended the reception and it was the reason that puzzled me some. Because I was the daughter of her husband, she would attend. A little odd but alright, I can work with that. She did congratulate us but thought it odd that this country allow gay marriage. When I pointed out that there was no distinction between straight marriage and gay marriage here in the Netherlands she was surprised by this. Isn’t it separate but equal? No, this isn’t America, we actually have rights here just like everyone else.

Yet I think the one thing I have lingering emotion for is the next day, after the wedding, when we went to see Momma Dutchie. My father had some pictures on his digital camera so we were able to show her some and she gave me a token to show I was a part of the family. A necklace that belonged to her mother, she gave to me to show that she loved me, accepted me as a member of the family and a gift of sorts to say all that. We both cried and it was a touching, loving moment for Dutchie, Momma Dutchie and myself. My step mother was in the corner of the room and was going on about how there was so much to do now that we were in Den Haag and we just had to get to Delft at a reasonable time so she could get back to the hotel at a decent time. I had spoken to my father about going weeks in advance. This was my mother in law and I wanted her to meet my dad. It was quite important to me and he understood that. We were in her room and decided to have some coffee with her in the diner downstairs so we got her oxygen and chair ready and off we went. It was a lovely time, dad tried to converse with her despite his lack of Dutch and sis in law and Dutchie helped in his quest. My step mother sat there, impatient, non talkative and kept looking at her watch. Of all the things to do, Momma Dutchie could not attend so we went to her so she could congratulate us and meet my father and she pushed and tried to rush the whole thing, making Momma Dutchie, Dutchie and I feel insignificant to her master plans of seeing Holland.

We spent two hours in Den Haag and two hours in Delft; that is what she rushed everyone for. Shopping and to complain about the weather and the slowness of it all.

The reason I vent, the reason I point her out above all else is because this is what Europeans talk about when they talk about rude Americans coming over the pond. A self absorbed, arrogant, ignorant person who won’t even try to appreciate the place they came to. If you come to a place to visit then don’t do this, don’t be so unappreciative or complete about every little thing to their faces. Remember, you went to them, they didn’t come to you so show some respect for where you are at.

worldy chatter, rambles, American tourists

Shopping at IKEA can be a lot of fun! I have always enjoyed walking the store and imagining my perfect living room or bedroom set while picking up all sorts of accessories for my current furniture setting. This time it was different! For a wedding gift my father gave us some money to do with as we saw fit. To Ikea we went to finally do something about our living room! No more dreaming honey, this was t he real deal! After two trips we had accessories and two pieces of furniture; a stand with five drawers for our microwave and a laptop desk for my notebook. The third and final trip was by far the most expensive and fun! We picked out a TV stand, two bookcases and you guessed it, more accessories! You cannot have five new pieces of furniture without the proper homey touches!

So there we were, we picked it all out, paid for it and were loading it into the car when it occurred to Dutchie that her gut feeling was right in the store, this wasn’t going to fit in our little Mazda! It was a kick in the butt is what it was! The TV unit, we knew would fit where we wanted it and when I looked at the size thought without fail it would fit in the car! The book case was the same scenario; it would fit in the home as well as the car. With living in a small, one bedroom apartment on the upper floor of a student house, you think on size and space savers. This furniture was to save us gobs of space and it looks so good it just had to fit in the car!

And it did, it finally did but with some consequences.

I was not going to fit in the car! We are in the IKEA parking lot, in the middle of Amersfoort which is a fifteen minute drive away and we came to the realization it was me or the furniture. So, much to Duchies’ great displeasure, it was the furniture that won out. We wanted this for our home, we paid for it, and by god we were going to get it home! So we finished loading up the car, pushed the driver’s seat up as far as we could but still able to drive and set out to find a way for me to get to Hilversum. I was already starting to find this funny but Dutchie was far from amused. We started out little adventure together and we should finish it together. I agreed but there wasn’t any other way with all we had done in IKEA to make that happen. So, we found a kind employee to tell us where the bus stop was and we were off to search it out. Dutchie walked back to the car after found it and I hopped on the bus when it came. That was at 5:56pm.

I took my bus to a station called Vathorst Amersfoort, that was the end of the line for the route and being a station I assumed I could take a train from there to Hilversum or at the very least take a connecting train to either Weesp or another town I knew I could then connect to get to Hilversum. I check the boards and see that there is a stop train that is on its way to Zwolle but stops at Hilversum! I was going to be home soon! I bought my ticket and waited for the 6:20pm train to arrive. I waited until 6:30pm when another train going to Amsterdam Central was supposed to come but neither came. I saw a sign that mentioned a shuttle bus from this station to another where I can take a bus to towns I had never heard of, I hadn’t heard of the station it mentioned either. I am not from Amersfoort, how in the world would I know any of this! Crap I thought, now what? So I went to the front of the station and waited for this shuttle bus so I could ask the driver how to get to Hilversum.

A regular bus came and so I asked him, how do I get to Hilversum from here. Well, since trains aren’t running here, Central Station maybe? How do I get there? I can take you! So, on another bus I went! Maybe I would get somewhere after all? We drove from stop to stop and I got to see a great deal of this town Amersfoort. It was much bigger than I thought it would be. We actually stopped AT the stop I originally started at and drove PAST IKEA! It was also dug up with construction so the ride wasn’t very appealing on the eye but productive because we made it to central station! The bus driver stopped in front of a row of busses and told me that one of these busses should take me to Hilversum and then pulled it up to let us out. He was such a nice man to me! I get out and run to a driver I see outside a bus, how do I get to Hilversum from here, I asked. By train of course! Now I was thinking, right, that’s what the last train station said! He informed me it was platform 4a and it should be leaving soon. I said my thanks and marveled at how nice Dutch people for a moment before running inside the station!

The ticket I bought was still good even though it was from a different station because if the train had come it would have stopped at central station anyway so I check the board and see the train is scheduled to leave at 7:37pm. I had twenty minutes to wait so I got some coffee and a burger and went to my platform to wait.

Do you remember I mentioned I caught my first bus at 5:56pm about five minutes after Dutchie left for the car? Do you also remember I mentioned that it is a fifteen minute drive from Amersfoort to Hilversum? Well, the train left and it made one stop at Baarn before it hit Hilversum at, are you ready for this, 7:50pm! That is six minutes shy of two hours for a fifteen minute distance by car and all because I wouldn’t fit in the car!

And do you know what is really messed up? While Dutchie was feeling real bad about all this and quite pissed off about all this, I was laughing nearly the entire journey home! I really thought this was all rather funny, especially when we drove past my point of origin! It was just too bazaar for anything else but laughter in my mind!
When I finally walked in the door, Dutchie had already started setting up some of our new stuff, particularly stuff for the bathroom and so I just opened a Heineken and we put all the furniture together and set up until midnight!

I am still laughing about my journey from IKEA in Amersfoort!

Worldly Chatter, IKEA Amersfoort, Furniture shopping, Traveling in Holland

Want to do something fun and a little off beat in Amsterdam, maybe even get a little tipsy with some beer in the middle of the afternoon? Try going to the Heineken Experience! Dutchie and I went with my brother and his girl to the Heineken Museum at around one in the afternoon. My brother, being a fan of beer, tried some of our beer here in Holland and enjoyed them thoroughly and finally understood what I was telling him about Heineken tasting different in the Netherlands verses America. So, with this new found passion for Heineken on his taste buds we set out to find out all about Heineken on one of his days in Amsterdam.

For €11 you get admittance into the museum with four tokens; one token for a gift when you leave and the other three are for beers at their bars along the way! When you get in, you start off with a history of Heineken with interviews from Mr. Heineken himself as well as a picture tour, first billboards and commercials.

Let me take you back to 1863, Amsterdam, with Gerard Heineken who has just risked his entire family fortune by buying out a 250 year old brewery that is on its last legs. He wants to make the best beer in his little corner shop and you get a little interactive piece of how this came about as you walk through. You walk through the huge kettles and see the process made. The ingredients and methods used by a master brewer, Mr. Feltmann and chemist, Dr. Elion was considered scientific yet magical. Some of the information is technical yet much of it was fun and amusing for the visitor. You get to take control of two Shire horses and ride them through the narrow streets of Amsterdam delivering beer in this neat ride. There is also the feel of being a Heineken bottle from filling to delivery; that was a bumpy ride! The four of us drank our beer, learned how it was made and the business that is Heineken. There was music to listen to; a place to relax and we even learned what the company is doing to help reduce use of electricity and water. I suppose it just isn’t beer anymore when you learn what it does on an environment friendly stand point.

The free gift was a hollow bottle of Heineken with a bottle opener inside. We took a little more home with us though; pictures and a jacket for Dutchie! My brother took home a t-shirt or too and a wonderful understanding of his favorite Dutch beer! It was a blast through and the beer was good. I do, however, feel my brother had the best time out of all of us because when asked what his favorite thing in Amsterdam he had done, this was it, the Heineken Experience!

Amsterdam tourism, Heineken Experience, Worldly Chatter, Heineken Beer, Holland Tourism

I think my father had a field day while he was here in Holland. My father, being a World War II buff, HAD to see Arnhem while he was here. A bridge too far, I hope it rings a bell to people here. Operation Market Garden wasn’t a bright spot during the war and people have been studying the operation, writing about it and of course, making movies on it. Now I have been getting into the war, history wise, but it is slow and I am by no means an expert on it. My appreciation for history in the past hasn’t involved the war; rather it was more ancient histories and religious history. So this is new and fascinating territory for me and when my dad came we went traveling and I got to learn a great deal about the war from him and the scenes right in front of our faces!

We traveled to Arnhem on a Sunday by train and got there just as the town was waking up around noon. After a little confusion, I purchased some maps and we were off to find the John Frost Bridge! If ever you are in the neighborhood to see War sites, might I recommend the maps? Not only are they helpful but particularly in Arnhem, you need them! The six of us were actually attempting to find the bridge via usage of the street signs. Here in Holland there are street signs everywhere. Traffic signs, street signs and signs to help you find landmarks and what have you. Such a huge tourist attraction and landmark, there were signs for the bridge. Don’t do that, EVER, in Arnhem. In any other town this is fine! In Amsterdam, den Haag, those signs work wonderfully, but here, it just takes you way out of the way and in circles! We sat down to drink some coffee and use the maps to find it ourselves.

Once we got there it was pretty neat. My dad bellowed that he was on his bridge and read the plaques and snagged some pictures of different stuff in the area to pay tribute to the battle. However, the really fascinating stuff about the battle came from Oosterbeek where the museum sits. It is actually the Hartenstein Hotel where the Allies set up base in Oosterbeek to control the men going into Arnhem. When you first arrived there were tanks and cannons to greet you. From there you went into the hotel to begin your tour. You can find everything in English and Dutch including the video they show to tell you of the battle and the significance of the place and Market Garden. As you go through the rooms you see documents, weapons, personal effects and other items pertaining to the troops as well as the operation. It was a learning experience I shall not soon forget. I tell you, it was one hell of a history lesson for me! To actually see, touch and hear about this battle from a military and historical point of view as well as a personal point of view was intense and enlightening. Yet we did one other thing before leaving Oosterbeek. We went to the Arnhem war cemetery that was a 15 minute walk from the museum. There you had older men walking through crying. It was a moving experience. These men we saw there had to be in their eighties or nineties and one stood somber looking while another was simply crying. As the six of us walked about you saw mainly British troops but there was also a section dedicated to the Polish men who fought alongside them. If you stand in the middle of the yard, you get swallowed in all the crosses and you begin to feel rather small among them.

The feeling didn’t change when we went to Amsterdam and went into the Anne Frank house. No pictures are allowed and there are times where you can hear a pin drop it is so silent in there. Some of the rooms had that silence while a couple had little televisions to show you interviews with Otto Frank and other survivors. You wanted to crawl in a hole and cry when you walked through what they hid in! You read the book as children, or adults, and you think you understand but in reality you can’t, not until you stand in that little room Anne had to share! You don’t get it until you see the tiny kitchen where they cooked and ate all eight of them. It was an experience I personally don’t want to do again. It is only a house but you know what happened and when you stand there, you can picture it all! It was a bit much for me. I am glad I went and recommend everyone to go because to never forget you need to see it and feel it but it isn’t something I plan on doing again.

When Dutchie and I were in Limburg for our honeymoon we were driving around our first day, just checking it out when we stumbled on an American Cemetery and Memorial, an odd thing to see in Holland so we followed the signs we saw and found it near Maastricht. What it is is a tribute to all the Americans who sacrificed their lives in the attempt to liberate the Netherlands. There is a massive monument to honor these men and two walls on either side. On this wall is a list of every single man who died in the Netherlands in the fall of 44. It is immense and overwhelming as you read some of the names and which state they were from. It also has the story of what happened and maps of the plans and routes taken in a little open room to the left of the monument. It goes into great detail about Market Garden and what happen once the men were dropped. It also explains in a little chapel behind the monument why this is all here in Holland and why it that location. Of course I read every detail, it is in both English and Dutch, and was moved that the Dutch and Americans came together to pay tribute to those men who tried to free the Dutch and didn’t live to see its liberation.

Overall it was an amazing experience, walking through history like that. I thoroughly enjoyed that I got to share some of it with my father; it is something we have in common and can enjoy together. There is still much to see, I am sure but that is for another excursion!

World War 2 sites in Holland, Oosterbeek, Arnhem, Limburg, Worldy Chatter, World War 2 Memorials in Holland, Operation Market Garden, A bridge too Far

All these things just keep happening that deter me from my intentions of writing! My latest battle to conquer was my teeth. I wish I was kidding you when I say this but I had to spend over an hour yesterday in the dentist’s chair! Here is the story. Just under three years ago I had a bit of an accident with a ring and my teeth. I had a thumb ring, one of those bug bulky ones and tripped over a cat and my two front teeth hit the ring. Both of them cracked and chipped. Since that moment more of my two teeth have chipped off and parts of it blacked and all that nastiness. I was living in NY at the time of this little trip up and I was not insured in any way shape or form so I didn’t get it fixed. When I did this I called a dentist and I was informed I would be paying, roughly, $800 with half up front and the other half when the work was complete. Seriously here, am I the kind of girl who has nearly a grand lying around for such an occasion? No, so what happened? Nothing, zip, nada! I went nearly three years with a nice hole in the middle of my smile! Why? Aside from not having the insurance or money at the time, once I got here the situation was the same until my permit arrived. By that time, two years later, I was so used to it that it wasn’t imperative that I get it done. So we took care of other things first. Bills, finding me work, planning a wedding, vacation and all the normal everyday stuff.

Here is where it did become imperative for me to get it done.

When you have a hole in your teeth all kinds of things can annoy it. Food, drink and even cold air can drive it to the point of a pounding headache with a screaming tooth. I had such days but it started to get worse these past two months and especially these past few weeks. You see, two weeks ago a black piece fell off and then yesterday another piece. These pieces have been protecting the nerves and all the inside stuff from becoming exposed to such a point that it hurt to even move your head. When I went to work yesterday I had such a headache that got gradually worse. Talking, eating and drinking was not the best idea I had yesterday morning. Dutchie had made an appointment for me but couldn’t get one until the 9tth of October with one dentist. So she called another as an emergency. I left work and at 3:30 I was sitting in THE chair! That is where I stayed for over an hour as they scraped, sawed, hacked and finally filled and sanded down my two front teeth! I had some serious reconstruction done on those two teeth! The end result:

Two perfect teeth and a bill for €236 which my insurance will cover completely!

Try doing that in America! I was floored! I was really expecting close to €800! And the really strange thing, I wasn’t knocked out! Dutch people don’t get knocked out for anything, root canals, endoscopies, no such thing as knocking out here. My experiences with Dutch dentists have been pleasant actually. My dentist wears Bart Simpson socks!

Now I don’t have to wait until Christmas for my two front teeth!

worldly chatter, dental work, Dutch Dentists, Dutch insurance

If you ever get the chance to go to Holland, there are hundreds of things to do here! This past week, I have learned there is so much I haven’t seen until this past week and there are tons of activities and sites I still need to see here! I have so much to share about this vacation but I am going to stick to one right now. It was actually the Amsterdam Dungeon and it was an amazing place! It is a tourist attraction on Rokin, between the Dam Square and Rembrandtplein for those who understand the Amsterdam layout. It looked rather creepy when Dutchie, I, my brother and his girl decided to go. Of course if you are in Amsterdam, go to the exchange offices and tourist booths, my brother and sis-in-law found a great deal where we would go to the Amsterdam Dungeon and Madam Tussauds for €25 instead of €36, so definitely keep an eye out, tourist places usually have stuff and if they don’t have anything appealing go to the exchange places. Aside from exchanging dollars into Euros they have other information but I am getting sidetracked.

As I was saying, it looked kind of creepy in a fun, let’s get scared kind of way! When we went in we had a woman all decked out in costume hand us axes and my brother on this device. We looked like we were about to chop his head off when she took the picture! Once our little photo op was done we waited for some more people to come in before we got a tour of Amsterdam during the Dutch East Indies Company most influential and profitable period, as well as the time during the great plague and the Blood Council, the 16 and 17 hundreds. We had a bar maid attempt to recruit us for work on board a ship, offer ale she spit in and told us tales of the men working on the trading ships. The whole place was decked out to look like a real tavern one might go to after getting off a ship. She eyed the whole group asking them to join a ship and eying the ladies for jewelry when she actually confronted Dutchie when she saw two rings on her hand. They had a bit of a staring contest and neither wanted to budge! These actors are great let me tell you! She finally kicked us out and we ended up at bottom of a ship with a captain bellowing to bring the fresh working hand on deck to start work! There was some more storytelling and then the room filled with smoke so that you couldn’t see in front of you! They were under attack you see.

Poor Dutchie, not only did she get picked on with the bar maid, she got picked on by the make shift doctor. You see, the make shift doctor was looking at the dead doctor, inspecting him and verifying that it was, in fact, the plague. There were more patients of course; one in particular needed his leg amputated. It just so happened that where Dutchie was sitting was in direct alignment with the doctor and when he hacked the leg off, blood squirted out and Duchies leg was soaked. More importantly though, even with all the antics of the would be doctor there was a story to be told of the plague and how it ravaged through Europe. There were stories of the trade ships and then finally came the Blood Council.

The

Going through the Dungeon you see a variety of rooms with things that are less than pleasing. There were contraptions for stretching the body pealing the skin and chopping, breaking, stabbing the body into any form of confession. For whatever the person was in there for, they were tortured and beaten practically to death. Once they confessed they were sentenced to death in a variety of ways. If they didn’t confess, they died during their torture. When we were put in front of the Blood Council Dutchie was once again the center of attention. This time it was a t-shirt she was wearing that caught the courts eye. New York was plastered on her chest, a shirt we bought in the city and the court asked her name and condemned her on the count of bad fashion sense! She would have her left arm and leg removed and they would watch her swim in circles until she sank!

To say the least it was an interesting afternoon! Educational and fun as hell! The four of us had a blast and I highly recommend it to anyone in Amsterdam!

Amsterdam Dungeon, Amsterdam Tourism, Worldly Chatter, Amsterdam, Rokin

I finally received some pictures of the wedding while we wait for the photographer to finish with the professional pictures. So since I have something to show you, I want to write about our big day and finally becoming a Mrs.!

It started a little after ten in the morning, a little late because we were waiting for some guests and taking pictures outside the town hall. It was a beautiful blue sky and everything finally fell into place except for me. I was a mess! I wanted to cry all morning, ok, actually I cried between 9 and  9:30 and tried to compose myself when my family, Duchies’ sister, the photographer and car showed up at 9:15-9:30. We drive to town hall in a blue Volkswagen Beetle, top down and the ride I am still trying to remember, I was so emotional! I was about to be married, I was beside myself with joy and excitement!

Our registrar, ambtenaar in Dutch, was wonderful from the beginning. She spoke to everyone in the room about how we met, she mentioned Duchies’ co-workers and all they did to make it possible for me to stay and even my own co-workers who attended and what that meant to us. She is a woman with a sense of humor yet very professional when she has to be. She was compassionate and even touched when both of our fathers walked us in the room. She had never had two fathers give two brides away before and was very moved when we walked in. She also read a poem for the occasion that I want to share. It is titled Ik heb je… by Jan-Simon Minkema.

Ik heb van jou wel duizend foto’s:
Ik heb je als je drinkt en eet,
Ik heb je als je staat te praten,
Ik heb je als je dat maar weet.

Ik heb van jou wel duizend beelden:
Ik heb je als een kind zo blij,
Ik heb je als een wijze meester,
Ik heb je als liefhebberij.

Ik heb van hou duizend gezichten,
Ik heb je als je met me vrijt,
Ik heb je als je ligt te slapen,
ik heb je voor de eeuwigheid.

Ik heb voor jou wel duizend zinnen:
Ik heb je lief, ik heb je beet,
Ik heb je door, ik heb je nodig
ik heb je als je dat maar weet…

I know there are many of you who cannot read this and for that I am sorry. I can read it yet some of it is not easily translated. I want to put it up there because it is beautiful and an important part of our ceremony. As she read it, I translated it as fast as I could, she was reading slowly but my brain needs time to translate here, there was but one word I missed but the rest I understood and loved it dearly. It made her smile when she asked if I understood. A lot of the ceremony was in English because of me and some of our guests, the only part mandated in Dutch so it was a wonderful touch to have something else in Dutch. After all, I live in Holland and my wife is Dutch so it was very appropriate and warming to hear.

We had our vows and the I Do’s and let me tell you I had tears! I don’t believe there was a dry eye in the room! First we had the Dutch part and both Dutchie and I said ‘Ja’ then Dutchie said her vows first and by the time I was done with mine, my knees felt weak! We put our wedding rings on each other and I should mention we do it different here. Our wedding rings go on our right ring finger, not the left. A tear or two fell down my cheeks when we did that! In Holland they have a trouwboekje, it’s our version of a marriage license. It translated to marriage book. First Dutchie and I signed the legal license, then my father and my sister-in-law, finally our registrar and a gentleman to notarize it all. She announced that we were married and we sealed it with a kiss! I had a lot of tears fall that morning! I like to think I can keep it all together and not show a lot of emotion but it all came out that day! I am a married woman! I, an American lesbian, am a married woman! I really never thought I would marry and here I am, Mrs. Joppe-Schmalfuss! I still can’t believe it!

I want to go on and on but I am getting all teary eyed again! I am someone’s wife! I am Dutchies’wife!

worldly chatter, A Dutch Wedding

Dutchie went through www.weekendcompany.nl to find something for us after our family left for NY. Weekend Company is a Dutch vacation site that gives you fabulous deals on weekend get-a-ways in Holland and the surrounding countries. We have used them before and have enjoyed the service and the place we stayed at immensely! This time we both have been completely blown away! Hotel Restaurant Vue Des Montagnes is located in Limburg, in a town called Berg en Terblijt, it is right in the middle of Valkenburg and Maastricht. We booked ‘Love is in the air’ accommodations for our weekend honeymoon which is as follows; two nights with the first night a four course, buffet, candle light dinner, breakfast in bed the following morning and the last morning has a breakfast buffet. With all this it was less than two hundred euro.

However calling it a hotel seems to cheapen the experience you have here. The staff here has been a pleasure from the moment we checked into our room. The room we have is situated on the top floor and gives a spectacular view of the rock face across the street which was once a marlstone business by the original founder of the hotel. The food is flavorful, delicate yet filling and truly incredible for your pallet! We had red wine with our meal which was delicious and enjoyable throughout the appetizer and main course. The appetizer buffet consisted of meats and fishes to go with salads and breads. Limburg trout and catfish with salad and a little bit of roast beef with a fresh baked roll is what I started with. Dutchie started with salmon salad with fillet trout, catfish, tuna with a little of fresh salad and a roll with roast beef. Our main course was just as filling and diverse! Dutchie had the rib eye steak, seasoned potatoes, pork roulade, chicken breast; the meat was with truffle sauce. She also had fresh vegetables and cod fish rolled up. I had tortellini, seasoned potatoes, fresh vegetables and fillet of codfish with lobster sauce. We had dessert which had a variety of cakes, pies, fruits, ice creams and cookies. All this was inside the restaurant and after we finished it off with a cup of cappuccino on the terrace. Each time we had something our waiter came by discretely taking our plates, he talked to us to let us know a wedding had taken place across the street and would be coming in momentarily and that we should get ahead of them with the food. He asked us if we needed anything once or twice and left us be the rest of the time. We were eating for two and a half hours and it was pure pleasure for our taste buds as well as our overall experience of the night. A few hours later we went back down to the terrace for a night cap. One waiter asked us if we wanted candles on the table while another got us a beer and a few moments later a bowl of peanuts.

The hotel as well as the restaurant gives off a cozy yet elegant feel the moment you walk in. Even without the package deal we received the rooms are affordable and the hotel itself gives package deals to accommodate each party attending. If ever you stay in Limburg I highly recommend Vue Des Montagnes, View of the mountain! The staff, the food the atmosphere; it all makes for suck a wonderful place for a weekend get-a-way! It is near all the tourist hot spots, beautiful walking areas and little towns that if you drive by and blink, you will miss it! It is unlike the rest of Holland in that it is a different atmosphere and the scenery is more vibrant with color, hills and farms. As I told Dutchie, the northern part of Holland has pockets of green, Limburg has pockets of civilization. Vue Des Montagnes is in the middle of all that, it is near enough to get to anything yet it is just far enough to keep to local personalities and traditions. A highly recommended place to stay, Dutchie and I are planning to return in the near future to do more of Maastricht!

Maastricht, Valkenburg, Worldly Chatter, Limburg, Vue Des Montagnes, Berg en Terblijt, South Limburg

There is so much to write about on my wonderful week with my family here in the Netherlands! Naturally there is our wonderful wedding that took place on Monday but there is also the two days prior and the week that followed and all the sites we saw in Holland. There are experiences and observations that must be mentioned and finally the feeling of it all. I will be in Limburg from Sunday to Tuesday and finally life will go back to some form of normalcy on Wednesday. My family flew home this morning and I await knowledge that they have landed safely back in America and I while I wait I wanted to write of my plan for this page for the next week or so. Something to look forward to you could say.

I want to tell you of my family and how the four of them saw this open and somewhat laid back nation. Their stories they take back to New York will all be different as well as what they wanted here. It was an interesting experience for me to see how they interacted with this place, its people and the flow of its society to say the least. I want to tell you of our wedding day and every detail I can possibly recall. There is Den Haag and Delft to tell you of as well as Hilversum, Arnhem, Oosterbeek and Amsterdam. The happiness and sadness of having them here with us and the plans we have made to go to NY and them to return here. It is a lot and I want it detailed. This is just a short hello to say I am alive and that my vacation is nearing its end. Writing will commence and much to read when I do!

Right now I will wait to know something and try to keep my body awake for the night as it has been an incredibly busy and sleepless week! Check back and I will start my series on our wedding and vacation!