Worldly Chatter

Dear readers, as you know, I am getting married on Monday! Tomorrow morning my brother is landing in Europe for the first time! Saturday my father lands! Duthie, I and the family will be traveling all over the Netherlands this week and from the  9th to the 11th we will be in Limburg for our Honeymoon! So I announce that it is vacation time for this traveling lady! I promise to update as soon as I get back! I may bring my notebook with me but I don’t know yet. Please be patient and I will be back in a week!

Have a happy!

We heard from our Justice Lady and she sent over the speech that she will saying on Monday! It’s the part that must be done in Dutch and I just had to share them! You know when they ask you if you take this person for better or worse, richer or poorer and promise to take care and all that. Well this is the Dutch equivalent to that.

Dutchie, verklaar jij Samantha aan te nemen als je wettige echtgenote en getrouw alle plichten te zullen vervullen die de wet aan de huwelijkse staat verbindt? Wat is daarop jouw antwoord?

Samantha, verklaar jij Dutchie aan te nemen als wettige echtgenote en getrouw alle plichten te zullen vervullen die de wet aan de huwelijkse staat verbindt? Wat is daarop jouw antwoord?

Dan verklaar ik, als buitengewoon ambtenaar van de burgerlijke stand, dat jullie vanaf nu door het huwelijk aan elkaar bent verbonden!

I am aware that many cannot actually read this it is similar to that of which you hear in an American ceremony. It’s lovely! Dutchie read them to me when she got them via email and I melted! She will do most of it in English but this, by law, must be in Dutch.

Oh, how I wish I could put into words what I am feeling right now! It feels as though the world is at my figure tips here! I am truly going to be wed and completely legal. I never imagined I would be! My country can’t agree what marriage means never mind agreeing to give me marriage. I am protected, Dutchie is protected. Once we have that piece of paper everything will be jointly, both of us will have marriage rights. Yet, never mind any of that. I can share my love with Dutchie! I can put a ring on her finger and tell her in front of everyone I swear to honor and love her the rest of our days! What is greater than that? I really am so l blessed!

marriage, Dutch Nuptuals, worldly chatter

I apologize greatly for being a slacking writer! In my defense there are valid reasons here. A wedding and family coming over from America kind of preoccupy the mind and day. Nevertheless, I should be more diligent in my work.

Now for the good stuff.

This evening the Justice of the Peace who will be marrying us came over to our home. We went over every detail of what we wanted and she got to know a little about who she is marrying. She was a very nice woman who had coffee with us as we told her about us and she asked question after question. Our wedding will be bi-lingual but part of it has o be done in Dutch. According to Dutch law the part where she says ‘do you take… ‘ and we say ‘ja’ must be in Dutch. That’s fine with me of course; our vows will be in English though. We discussed when we would say our vows, having my father and her son walking us down the aisle and which music would be playing, all that sort of thing. I was a little nervous actually because she was running a tad late and I was thinking the worst! Of course there wasn’t a reason in the world to be nervous but hey, this is my first time around so I had no idea what to expect. Her English was easy to follow. A cross between a British accent and a Dutch accent but very clear to understand, it was rather important to us that whoever it was, they spoke English. She was a humorous lady which we both loved, charming and sweet. We told her we weren’t stuffy people and we liked her relaxed manner so keep with that for our day. She really was a pleasure to talk to. We told her how we met and when she started asking us questions we really got an idea of how different we can be. Neither Dutchie nor I think about how different we are much. We work so well together and our differences make it a pleasure to us. It makes for interesting conversations and a diverse atmosphere to live in. When we were talking about what we like and don’t like we realized there are many things that make us different. I suppose the average person might not think about it much and neither do we, its just interesting when it is brought to our attention.

Pretty much everything is taken care of or being taken care of so I am a very happy camper. I am getting my hair cut tomorrow after work, went to a tanning salon yesterday and doing that again on Thursday. Our lunch is booked and everything else I can think of. May the gods help me if I forgot anything! The plan is to get up around five or six the morning of our wedding. So much to do in the morning that we want hours to prepare! Over doing it? Maybe but at least we are prepared!

Aside from the wedding there isn’t much to report, it has consumed so much! Naturally once the family is here there will be much to show you and tell you and I look forward to seeing more of Holland and sharing! Until next time, cheers!

wedding bells, worldly chatter, wedding plans

Dutchie is so good to me! I have wanted a new laptop for some time now but had not the means to get one. Now I am working happily I thought I could finally afford it. There was just one catch; I needed Dutchie for the financing! When living abroad, one must remember there are laws to abide by when purchasing and financing. Because I am not a Dutch National or even a permanent resident yet I was unable to secure a financial plan for the cost. I am too much of a risk and they will not take the chance of me taking off without paying. Understandably so but a hassle. Dutchie went to wehkamp.nl and found the very notebook I wanted! With her good name and credit we were able to get the notebook of my choice and pay for it with my pay. This why I have been so silent the past few days. Setting up a new computer can be time consuming and I appologize for the lack of writing to my readers. I promise I will get back on track!

I invited two friends from work to our wedding and they are both coming! A happy camper I am! Dutchie finally met one of them today as we shopped around Hilversum for the afternoon and grabbed lunch together. It was actually a really nice afternoon until the wind picked up. Anyway, our rings are here and we are both looking at them constantly. My dress is officially out for its two-week breathing period before the big day! I haven’t tried it on yet but I have to. When I bought it, I was nearly 65 kilos, now I am 63 kilos so I need to know how that is going to affect how it looks on me. Of course, now that it is out of its bag, I have been staring at it constantly! I will be a married woman in TWO WEEKS! My mind is going all over the place here! Two weeks is closing in fast! So fast!

We have friends and family coming, a small lunch/reception in the afternoon and I simply cannot wait! I just can’t think about anything else, does this happen with all brides as the day gets closer? Flowers will be here first thing in the morning as well as the photographer and car. Dutchies son has to come back to the house from Ridderkerk before the wedding so he can dress before because he left his clothes here. My family will be here and everyone else should be meeting us there at town hall where the wedding will take place. We don’t want a church wedding so we are having it at the modern looking town hall in Hilversum. Actually, it is quite lovely with nice interior and a nice water feature and park in the front. It isn’t the same building where you go to town hall for permits and what have you, this is separate, more for the ceremonious stuff that takes place.

We have the place we want to have our lunch at, all we have to do is book it and that you can do up to a week prior. I know, it’s two weeks but with Dutchie being sick and so much going on around us, we only recently found the place we want! It is a restaurant, which is a part of the hotel my brother and his girl will be staying at here in Hilversum. The wonderful thing about this is not only is it a lovely place but also across the way is a beautiful park we are going to have our wedding pictures taken! I love it when things work out like that!

I know this is another ramble about the upcoming day but really, you wouldn’t be able to help it either!

wedding plans, worldly chatter, Dutch wedding

Wilders makes a lot of noise in the Netherlands and this is of no surprise to me or anyone else for that matter. His talk against the Koran and Islam are well known and he seems to make a point of running his mouth around to stir trouble, especially the latest with his proposal to ban the Koran in Holland. (article) What is surprising is that his party Dutch Freedom Party or Partij voor de Vrijheid, is gaining popularity in the population. At the same time, some of his own party members are trying to distant themselves from their party leader. Liberal VVD MP Halbe Zijlstra thinks that “Wilders has lost his way.” “He claims to stand up for Dutch standards and values, but at the same time he puts one of these values out with the rubbish: the freedom of religion.” Christian democrat CDA MP Madeleine van Toorenburg also said Wilders’ disregard for this freedom was remarkable. At the same time the Foreign Minister is also making it known she isn’t with Wilders on any of this. Maxime Verhagen believes that he has gone too far and oversteps all this is good. The Integration Minister, Ella Vogelaar, says they will never put a ban on the Koran nor will they in the future. So, if politicians aren’t backing him up, or at least a good portion of them, how is all of this gaining so much momentum? (article)

His party already stands for a great many things that do not make me too comfortable. They would like to see a ban on immigration to anyone not from a ‘western’ country, stricter laws on integration and a ban on Islam entirely in the Netherlands. My knowledge of the Netherlands and its foundation is the freedoms it grants its people. The freedom of religion, speech, marriage, on, and on the list can go. In many ways, it has been ahead of others in its policies and practices. The Dutch enjoy a great many things many other countries do not and that is part of its appeal to immigrants. It is part of why so many tourists come every year to its streets. Holland, where you can have a joint, watch a gay wedding and pay a girl for sex. Tourists feel the atmosphere is different and enjoy the relaxation these cities can give while sitting on a terrace. It is the country where you are free to speak your thoughts, constructively and peacefully get what you seek when once someone told you no. Many people seek out a country like Holland because where they come from they could be shot for reading the bible or hung for coming out of the closet. The jobs might be better, pay could be better or maybe it is simply because there aren’t any jobs where they are from.

Being such a country means there is a weight to carry. So many, some say too many, people want to come here. This is Wilders and his supporters come in. They feel the ‘wrong people’ are coming into the country and tainting its Dutchness. Are they right? Is there cause for such extreme talk? There seems to be many a Dutchmen believe so. In recent years, there have been a higher number of crimes when it comes to gays, people who use their freedom of speech and those who speak out against Islam. Some see Wilders as a man who sees the problem and knows how to fix it. Punish the many for the crimes of the few? Crash hard on a culture that has had a hard time integrating into such a open minded society is what his plan is. It is turning many once open minded people into people who hate and fear a group of people.

How does handling hate and bigotry with hate and bigotry solve anything? Yet that is Wilders answer to it all.

I will not deny that there are some of the Islamic faith who have issue and trouble with mingling into this society. Even a southern or northern American could find it challenging to integrate into this. It has been an eye opener for me to say the least. Some here who refuse to integrate into this country, it makes it harder for themselves as well as those around them, and it is westerners and non-westerners alike. It is by no means an easy society to blend into when it is so far from what you are used to. That doesn’t give them an excuse, that is not what I am saying. One must put forth effort to integrate into the society you put yourself in. Which ever country you come from, you moved there and must find a way to peacefully exist in it. You would expect the same if someone moved into your country.

I just don’t know that any of this solves a thing. Hatred doesn’t do anyone good and I fear that the hatred and bigotry that Wilders puts forth can be infectious and bad for the society he seems to want to protect.

Wilders, PVV, Islam in the Netherlands, immigration, integration, Worldly Chatter, Netherlands, Expats

Ik snap het een beetje beter! Ik was een beetje bang omdat ik spreek heel slecht Nederlands! Maar het is beter nu, een beetje! (beetje – a little and is one of my favorite Dutch words!)

Dutchie was on the telephone with Momma Dutchie this evening and talking about all sorts of things, one of which was I. How I made new friends at work and how I can understand Dutch a bit better since starting work. It was in Dutch and understood it. Therefore, I said ik snap het een beetje beter! Een beetje! Therefore, Dutchie put Momma Dutchie on the telephone to show her! Ik KAN spreek Nederlands! Ik will graag een kopje koffee en iets. Iets is something and so that can get used often, hence why I know it so well. Repetition is key and I seem to be getting that at work. A co-worker of mine will talk Dutch to me, very simple but says it in Dutch nonetheless. I was in Eemnes today, delivering my little legs off when someone saw me with a map. Zoek je iets? (you looking for something) Ja, ik zoek Laarderweg 112 maar die is 80, waar is 112? Ah, aan de andere kant van de A27. (On the other side of A27, the highway) That’s when I sighed and waited for my co-workers to return because I am not and cannot cross the highway with nothing but my legs and a trolley. My point is, I got it, I understood it, ik snap het!

Oh Hemeltje is another word I love to pieces! I watched a Pooh movie in Dutch and little Piglet said Oh hemeltje instead of Oh dear. It was so adorable it stuck in my head! Asbak is ashtray and the reason why I remembered it is that my brain says assback…wards! It is the strangest things that help me remember but it doesn’t matter so long as I remember. Ik hou van je en ik mis je. Ik denk het niet of echt niet! Luister goed! Ik vergeet het al! Just little things that stick in my head and it adds up, I know this so today is a good day in my understanding of Dutch. Ik kan en ik doe iedere dag! Toch? Ja, toch!

My co-worker said to me I say my numbers like a native today and I couldn’t help but smile. I tried so hard to get the sounds right and there are sounds I still don’t do very well but for the most part its good and clear. I mainly have troubles with a couple of vowel combinations so it isn’t horrid. The comment perked me up a bit for the day. A lovely way to end my week, a comment like that and saying I sounded like I was trying! I love it!

worldly chatter, Dutch, Dutch language, learning Dutch

Bagels and Beans is one of the few places where I can get a real bagel. I have a co-worker who is American and told him to check it out with me. Off we went for an afternoon lunch and coffee! We sat outside and enjoyed the slightly chilled air over cappuccino and a bagel. I have been here a while now and a bit on the slow side to making my own friends so it was so nice to suggest an outing after work! I can be so shy at times, especially when you are in a foreign place with a different language. It can leave you a tad nervous and shy. I did it however! I suggested something and we hung out on a terrace! Such a big girl I am!

It’s a bit strange to me, I used to be good at making friends, being the chatter bug and all that. Since I have been here, I have been quiet and iffy about stepping out of my shell. There wasn’t a reason in the world for it other than I was scared to face the new world I put myself in at a different angle. I’ve learned there are different angles to getting accustomed to your new country. Work wise, relationship wise and socially on top of all the other culture shocks and customs that are new and thrown at you. I have been getting into the work and social aspect of it on a slower pace than I would in America. It’s an interesting thing to consider. I lived in different states in America and never really had a problem piping up. It troubles me that I have changed in this way. Maybe now that I have done it once I will do it again and will break the shell right open! One can hope right. Does one consider the consequences like this? The isolation that is put on a person by your surroundings, the government, or yourself. I want to be as I was, bubbly and chatting. An outgoing person I will be darn it all! I can do it! I am a big girl!

expats, Netherlands, Worldly Chatter, making friends

Wilders is at it again, the Dutch politician, leader of the Dutch Freedom Party, PVV, has had some interesting things to say about the Qur’an. In a letter to the Volkskrant, he stated that we needed to propose a ban on the Islamic holy book, stating it was a fascist book, which incited violence. It isn’t the first time Geert Wilders has spoken out against the Islamic religion and the Qur’an and I doubt it will be the last.

That is a bit extreme if you ask me. Here we have a book meant for prayer, enlightenment and a connection to their creator. It is the same as the bible, it was never intended for violence, it was so that people had something to go by, a direction to guide them with their faith. If the Qur’an should be banned according to Wilders then I vote to ban the bible as well. That book has seen many of battles in its name and honor. Blood spilt all over the world in the name of God and His laws. Protestants and Catholics, The Catholics and the Jewish people, Crusades, there is so much violence since the existence of this book and its followers. So, if Wilders thinks it is religion is the cause then make it equal.

However, that won’t help will it? The truth is many people do not trust the Islamic faith no matter how many people show them passages and tell them how it is really meant to be. So much violence in the name of Allah has made too many people skeptical of it all. All one has to do is turn on the television and see it, so how is one or two people going to change their minds? I have read a few passages of the Qur’an and had a friend who is from Egypt and Muslim attempt to explain it to me. I am not a religious person by any means. I have no affiliation with any religion and rather like it that way. I have a tendency to be skeptical of religion as a whole so I imagine I wasn’t a very good pupil, asking all the questions I did several times over. Clarity was something I didn’t find but I did learn a few things. Not all are extremists and honor the book the way it was intended.

I care neither way whether you are Muslim, Catholic, Mormon or Jewish. What I do care about is whether or not you respect your fellow neighbor and the laws of the land you live in. Inciting hate or violence based on religion or ignorance is absurd, foolish, sad and in the end no one wins. Abdeljarmid Khairoun, chairman of the Dutch Muslim Council has invited Wilders to discuss his views on Islam and its holy book but has refused. If that is the case then Wilders is foolish. A smart man, who has issue against something, first educates himself fully on the topic before trashing something with guns blazing. I have issue with the Christian faith; it is no news to anyone who knows me. The Christian religion and I go way back and it has been less than pretty to say the least. I will openly discuss the faith and its religion but only because I have read the Bible, understand its teachings and the structure of the Christian Churches. If I went about talking against the church with no basis for it, I would be considered ignorant and stupid for opening my mouth in the first place. Yet I sit here, with a good understanding of it all, still holding my beliefs on the matter and it is because of experience and education that I can do such things.

I understand the mistrust in the Netherlands and around the world. It is something we live with now and cannot go back to change it. What to do about the mistrust is a harder thing to understand. Yet, I personally do not see banning a holy book as an answer. If you deprive someone of something they will want it all the more. How will that solve anything? How will going on like this help anyone either? Hate cannot be answered with hate and ignorance can it?

Islam, Geert Wilders, Netherlands, Hate, Religious Hate, Worldly Chatter, PVV

A moment with you to talk about the Dutch language if you don’t mind. People often ask how I am getting on with it, I tell them of my progress, and I get that it must be so hard. Well of course they ask how is it such a challenge and I tell them little problems I have and that sort of thing. Here I will teach you a word that I learned today by watching one of the Dutch television games where you phone in with the answer to win money. It was a word game and the word needed was huis. Huis is Dutch for House. Here is how it works. ….muis (mouse) ….vrouw (woman) ….houdster (keeper) and the final was klok…. The dots indicate the number of letters and huis would be the answer to all of them. House mouse, housewife, housekeeper and the final… This is where I got really confused and learned a new word.

Klok is clock in Dutch. Huis is House. My brain, understanding these two things, thought that clock house was the answer, though it sounded strange to me. Dutchie informed me that was not correct. Why not, I know what klok and huis is so yeah, this makes sense. Not all things make sense in the Dutch language.

Klokhuis is actually Apple Core. I kid you not! Appel is apple so you know. Core is Kern in Dutch… So why not appel
kern or appelkern. (They like to slap words together) I sat there looking at the television screen and back to Dutchie and asked her point blank are you serious? This makes no sense to me! How can clock house turn into apple core? Can someone explain this to me? No, I didn’t think anyone could.

Sometimes a word can sound like an English word, there are words that look like an English word but don’t sound it. It is sort of a helpful tip to learning Dutch. Since they have a common history there are similarities abound. Now it doesn’t always work it does come in handy. I took Latin etymology in high school and learned how to break words up and figure out their core. All the fun stuff one needed for their SATs. This also helps me a bit. Take for example, Ridderkerk, it is a town here in Holland that literally turns into Knights Church. Ridder is knight and kerk is church. Simple enough and that is why I took klok and huis and turned it into klokhuis or clock house.

Welcome to Dutch! I am glad I am getting better at it and enjoy the fact that I can order for myself and go out and about with my basic stuff but I tell you, it is a confusing mess sometimes!

Netherlands, Dutch Language, Learning Dutch, worldly chatter

Oh, I can almost feel it on my finger already! Dutchie called the jeweler about our wedding rings and they are ready! So, tomorrow we are off to Den Haag to try on our rings and have them engraved! The plan is simple, go to the jeweler and try them on, make sure they fit and have them engraved with our names and date. While we wait for the engraving, it will be lunch on a terrace in Den Haag to enjoy the potentially wonderful sunny day! Like I said, I can almost feel it on my finger already! Doesn’t every bride get so excited that they get butterflies all over just thinking about it? That is me right now, tingly all over at the fact that I will be wed in less than a month!

I recently had a conversation with a co-worker about our big day, as he seems intrigued about it all. He was telling me of his wedding and how he didn’t really see the point in a ring. He was a young man and wasn’t into jewelry or the significance of the ring. Though once he put it on his whole perspective changed. He finally saw how the ring is the one thing that puts physical on the emotions of the relationship that otherwise as nothing tangible. A relationship has physical components sure, but how do you touch an emotion in ones heart. He tried to explain to me how he saw it on his wedding day and hopes that I understood. It seemed important to him that I understand his story and not look at it as a ring, something of tradition and not much more. I told him I couldn’t do that, it seems wrong to go to such lengths to find the perfect ring only to look at it as something everyone else does so I should too, kind of thing. We went to so many jewelers in various towns before we found the pair perfect for us. To go through all of that only to think that it is just a ring seems ridiculous to me.

We also chatted it up during a drive about the ceremony and how it will be done. Will we incorporate Dutch and American traditions or will it be an American style or all Dutch style wedding. The questions never stopped but somehow I never tired of them, I am getting married and can’t seem to shut up about it! We will be having a little of both. It will be a Dutch wedding with a little bit of American custom adding in. They don’t have a place for the father of the bride to give her away yet we are doing just that. We are doing the something blue, something borrowed bit as well but it will be, for the most part, a Dutch wedding.

Listen to me, I can go on about this until the cows come home! Wait a minute… They do that here in Holland! I need to get a better expression!

I received a long comment on my previous post, Oh America the great huh, and I wanted to respond to it in this manner. It is something that has been pressing on me for a while and is something I must consider. All expats have these options provided they follow the proper rules to get there.

That is the comment left me. Give up my citizenship to become a Dutch National is something Dutchie and I have discussed extensively on. In three years I can actually apply for it providing I have a level to in the Dutch language and taken my imbergeringexam. After that three-year period, I don’t have to be American. It weighs heavily on me. It is a part of who I am because I am American It is my home and I am sure it always will be. There are days I hate the politics or the things that go on. There are even days where I don’t miss it, only my family and friends but it is still home, it is still a part of me. To simply throw it away without thought or passion is foolish and heartless in my opinion so I question it and go through it constantly. What would it mean to me if I were Dutch? What would that mean to Dutchie? What would that mean to my family and friends still living there? Having a Dutch passport doesn’t mean I am no longer American. My whole being was raised in America and is a part of me and that is something that a Dutch passport cannot take away. It only means I am a Dutch citizen and have permanent residence there.

In one respect, I taking the Dutch nationality make sense. I would no longer be subject to American law. It means that life would a bit easier for me and for Dutchie in Holland and in the EU. It isn’t just about being gay and what America feels about that, it is also about the life I have led there and how my life is here. The differences are astounding to me and I cannot ignore them. On the other hand, I will be subject to the same laws as Dutchie in regards to visiting America. If anything were to happen to a member of my family and extended stay were needed, I could be denied based on my Dutch nationality. It is something to also put into great thought.

In the comment, the writer wrote that if they thought of my safety and well-being they would visit me and not be concerned about me visiting the USA. It isn’t just about them, it is about me as well. Not everyone has the luxury to travel to Europe and it seems incredibly selfish to consider such a thing. Having them take the time off, spend the money and do all that is required for such a thing. Another thing that must be addressed again is that it IS my homeland. It is my place of birth, the place I was raised and it is the place I know. Visiting it to visit the country is part of visiting my family. A period to take me back and remember the good things about a country I have a hard time appreciating and liking. I struggle greatly with being an American in Europe. I struggle with the current administration and what it has done to it and what it always has been. There are many truths in the comment and there are some that I wouldn’t agree with. It gives me something to think about and it has been of great discussion in the house since.

The thing is that while I struggle with how I view my own country I also struggle with how others see it. It makes no sense to me when people trash it and I am bothered by something or another but then go ahead and trash this or that myself. Is it because I lived there and know things about it that gives me a different perspective? This writer has a passion that I appreciate and loath. I love to chat with this individual and get into great discussions over very heated and sensitive subjects. Yet there are times where the views expressed get to me, make me feel things I don’t have the words for and overall am beside myself with rage and frustration when all one sees is the bad in America. I will be the first to admit it has sever imperfections but I am not one to forget the things that are still good in America either.

These things weigh on me greatly this evening. They push down often and with great difficulty in releasing its grip. I want to become Dutch and forget the sorrows, hatred and pain in my own country yet I don’t want to forget that I am American and want to have the pride in being American again. It saddens me when I cannot argue with what goes on with America and cannot disagree with how things are done and how it looks from the outside. I want resolution from all this and yet see none at times.

worldly chatter, America, Dutch National, Expats, Expatriate

A fellow 451press writer posted an article that caught my attention and tore my heart up reading it. Lez Keep It Real, I thank you! It is the story of Brett Conrad and Patrick Atkins’, their 25 years together and Patrick’s’ sudden illness in Indiana. In March of 2005, Patrick had a ruptured aneurysm and later a stroke while in hospital care. When Brett Conrad went to see him, the Atkins’ family barred him from seeing their son. They were against the relationship from the start and do not want their son’s partner of 25 years to visit. This has made it all the way to court! They lived together for 25 years, sharing bank accounts, renting various apartments before finally buying a home together. It meant nothing. Guardianship went immediately to Patrick’s parents where he now lives. The court granted Brett Conrad visitation rights but left guardianship in the hands of the parent. The article can be found on Lindsey’s Lez Keep it Real page.

As I read this article aloud to Dutchie, it really got us both thinking. As you are aware, September 3^rd is our wedding day. It is legally binding and I will be guardian of Dutchie should anything happen, as she is mine. I would be responsible for her, the assets and debts we share and anything else that may come up. It will be a marriage just as any heterosexual couples with all of its benefits. I will have what so many gay people in my own country desperately need, security, protection and peace of mind. I am so blessed to have this and I know it every day I wake. Many people want what I have for the very reasons that Atkins’ and Conrad wanted it, to ensure that they would be able to care for each other and not have the law run amuck of their lives and tear them apart.

In the Netherlands, Canada, Spain, Britain and Belgium, our marriage will matter and upheld to the fullest of the law. If anything were to happen, Dutchie and I would be able to care for each other, as these countries acknowledge we are married.

What happens when we visit America?

As we read this story our hearts sank for them and a realization began to hit us. Our marriage won’t mean jack in America! What if something were to happen to me, would Dutchie be able to maintain guardianship over my health and wishes? On the other hand, would she have to wait in the waiting room until my parents arrived before she could even see me? In NY, for example, there is no law allowing us to even have a civil ceremony. We do not have any form of NY documentation on Power of Attorney nor will our marriage license mean anything to them as they do not recognize gay marriage. What in the world would happen then?

What if we visited Texas, Tennessee or California where none of my family lives, would anything Dutchie does or says matter in how I am cared for? The thought frightens me terribly! The very thing I will be blessed to have in less than a month won’t mean anything in America and this story makes me wonder if the same thing could happen to us even though we are legally married in the eyes of the law under the Kingdom of the Netherlands? I don’t believe for a second that my parents would deny Dutchie anything, they know her, love her and have welcomed her into the family. However, there are couples from Canada, Belgium and Holland who travel to America and are married. What if anything happened while on vacation? Would America accept them as guardians and do what the partner feels is in the best interest of their spouse or would they call the next of kin?

It really makes me wonder… 

 Everyone is equal under the law, isn’t that how it goes? yeah…

gay marriage, glbt rights, Gay Marriage in America, Marriage in the Netherlands, Worldy Chatter, Patrick Atkins and Brett Conrad of Indiana

And here I thought that electing Democrats was going to be a good thing for the country! Not when they back down and give into pressure from Bush and his administration, in my most humbled opinion, they lack the backbone we saw in the elections. I first saw the story in NOSheadlines a news agency here in Holland, titled, ‘Big Bush is watching you!’ According to the news articles, congress gave Bush and his administration power to view and eavesdrop on overseas communications. Phone, internet phone and emails can be, and is, viewed to see about overseas terrorist activity. They do not need a warrant, they do not need much of a reason that it might contain, or pertain, to Al Qaeda. This bill, which Bush will undoubtedly sign this week, will last six month, in which they have just enough time to come up with something permanent to replace the outdated, 30 year old, FISA laws.

We all can recall how hard it is for people to get back something taken from the government. It is just like how long it took blacks to get rights, women rights or even if the tax man makes a mistake, they aren’t in any hurry to mend it now are they? Same thing here and I agree with Nadler, once done, it will be a battle to get our privacy and rights back to us.

What does this mean to me or to you? Well, not only can Bush eavesdrop on Americans and their communications with other Americans or people overseas but if they saw fit they could intercept communications from overseas coming into America and no doubt won’t stop there either. There are communication lines that are foreign to foreign that has a connecting station in America that current law stated America needed a warrant to intercept those calls. Now, thanks to this new bill, America does not need a warrant to listen in on calls or emails that aren’t even going to America but merely partially connected through America.

So, if I call my mother, father or email friends and they see a constant flow into America and are curious about it, they can listen in, read my mail and ponder on whether I am a threat or not. As Dutchie pointed out to me, how farfetched is the Simpson’s movie now? If you haven’t seen it yet, do so! In one scene, the government has a huge room dedicated to listening in and overhears the Simpsons talking on the train and subsequently a huge scene takes place where the government steps in to take control based on one conversation with Marge and her children.

Am I being monitored by my own government as I sit here in Holland because I make constant communications to America? I wouldn’t put it past them. It makes me sick that Americans are watched and overheard for the sake of security! How much of it is security and how much of it is executive power going to someone’s head? Really now, can you recall the last battle the executive branch had with Congress and the Judicial branch over warrantless wiretapping. Nothing has changed except Bush got what he wanted all along, a way to do it legally.

Oh it infuriates me! Not only do they want to know if I am gay, have a practicing faith and what I ate for breakfast when I land in my own country but now they want to know what I said to my mother last night! When will it stop, after congress gets a backbone or after Bush is out of office? Either way, too much damage done, too much mistrust for the government was created, and one wonders if it will ever stop once the ball starts rolling.

Further reading can be found on CNN and New York Times as well as links above.

Spying Bill passed by Congress, Big Bush is Watching you, Worldly chatter, Bush administration, FISA, wiretapping, Civilian surveillance, Government Eavesdropping

Today is the first day of the three-day affair that will take over parts of Amsterdam! It is one of the biggest gay pride parades and festival on the globe and it is a blast! Gays and straights alike join in for the parties and canal parade and it can go on until the wee hours of the morning! My first gay pride was last year in Amsterdam and it was Dutchie, myself and another couple we knew who met up and had dinner together, partied and drank until the last train took us home! And trust me on this, you see all walks of life when you are there. You could see families with their children, gay, lesbian, transgendered, and everything imaginable in between. There were some interesting clothing choices and the canals showed off everything everyone had to off! There were stands and booths for services for AIDS prevention as well as counseling and advice. Bars and clubs were hopping and live music with little stands serving Heineken was everywhere! What a blast! It wasn’t just a means for us to show ourselves off, flaunt it and demand the things gays and lesbians have been trying to get for years now. It was also a means for the outside world to see a bit of us and how we really are. Not all of the festivities is flamboyant and full of drama queens with butchie women tough in their tanks and military cuts, it was also a sense that we are just as everyone else is. You really could see in some parts of the festivities that they wanted people to see we aren’t evil, that we have culture, history and class.

Dutchie and I are unable to attend this year’s event. We originally intended it, booking a room in Amsterdam for two nights and made plans with some friends. Yet with Dutchie sick and making other plans for Ridderkerk and Den Haag we had to cancel the reservations and inform our friends we weren’t able to make it. Other stuff came up of more importance. Yet this will not deter me from informing you of it and linking you to this year’s big weekend!

Another thing that has been going on in Dutch life is that Dutch embassies situating in several countries where it is in good relations, gives aid is pushing to change legislation in countries where gay, and lesbians are beaten, exiled or executed based on who they are. They want to put their influence into practice and try to stop the current legislation stating homosexuality is illegal, taking inventory of every country and law it currently sits in, which is 36 and of that 18 currently hold such legislation. I hope it does some good and works to save those who suffer far worse than I can possibly imagine. (article here

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