Worldly Chatter

In Holland we have Easter just as everyone else does right? There is Goede Vrijdag (Good Friday) and 1e Paasdag and 2e Paasdag (1^st and 2^nd Easter); they do the same with Christmas, 1e Kerstdag and 2e Kerstdag. Well since neither Dutchie nor I are religious in any way we opted to go for a walk on Sunday through a meadow, Hoorneboegse Heide, a ten minute walk from our home. We packed a bottle of water and a couple of sandwiches and off we went. People with their dogs, people on horses, cows grazing the area and paths you can walk or bike ride through at the back of the meadow. A splendid day for a good walk and we weren’t the only ones who thought so.
It started well, me and Dutchie chatting up a storm and walking a nice while. I had never been so close to a cow aside from a fair where they were in their little boxes eating hay while we walked around so I was marveling over how close I was! I am a New Yorker who didn’t take to nature too well ok. Just a few feet away were cows sitting, cows eating and completely white. My ignorance surprises me sometimes. I had never seen an all white cow before. The wonder of it all! Took some pictures and walked on.
We had already stopped for some of our sandwiches and Dutchie got a chance to watch me climb a tree. Since I lost all my weight I have been able to do things I wasn’t able to before, climbing trees being one of them. We came across another tree I thought would be good to climb, I was being a big kid what can I say. With my bag on the ground next to Dutchie and my sweat shirt tied around my waist I was up the tree! I sat on a branch for a moment looking at the view around me before I decided to climb some more as there was another branch was on the other side that would give me a better view. That’s when things got a tad tricky. You see I was able to swing my leg around a fairly wide branch in hopes of going up it a bit to sit on it. That’s when problems started to arise. This big kid realized that she had to go about this differently. I would have to bring my leg back around and go up another branch before I could get to the one I wanted. Alright I thought, just swing it back around and off we go! No. It wasn’t that simple. I was officially stuck up in the tree. Dutchie in the mean time, still on the ground, had her phone in hand and was videotaping this whole fiasco!
Why couldn’t I get my leg around you ask since I had done it before? I was asking myself the very same thing while I squirmed in the tree in some desperate attempt to get out of this. Dutchie felt she was aiding in my rescue by taping this and asking me if I needed a fireman to come and get me. I am not a cat stuck up in a tree thank you. It was a full ten minutes when it dawned on me! Thanks to my lovely yoga I had been stretching out my back and learning to bend in ways that a back shouldn’t do! All I had to do was move slightly to the right where I had space and bent my back so my head was dipping towards the ground and swing my leg over! Ah ha! I was free! Now there are two short videos of me stuck up in a tree. Dutchie was of no help as she only laughed and taped it! Thanks Dutchie!
I did not go up any more trees after that. We stopped for some more lunch and finished our walk around the meadow. A beautiful day and a funny video to finish off our first day of Easter!
2e Paasdag in Holland is typically a day for car and furniture shopping. Only car dealerships, furniture stores and a few gas stations and restaurants are open on this day. Most people are found roaming about the department stores, stopping for coffee and roam some more. Why are these stores the only stores open? I wanted to know but Dutchie didn’t have the answer, it just is I was told so I will find out and get back to you. It’s the same thing on 2e Kerstdag, only the department stores and car dealerships are open for people to roam aimlessly about and hopefully buy something.
We were of no exception; we drove to IKEA in Amersfoort for a couch. We only had three chairs in our living room as we haven’t been able to afford a new couch for our apartment. Another thing deterring us from getting a couch is the size in which we were limited with. Dutch doorways can get quite narrow. Our front door to the house is of normal size but you get to the door that leads to our particular apartment it gets quite narrow as are the stairs which lead to our place on the second floor. Can’t get a wide couch through either, we had a tough time with one chair that had been quite a challenge to get through the doorway.
It wasn’t until we saw the perfect couch at IKEA we finally thought to buy one. A small modern looking couch that had to be put together; just perfect! Buy some extra pillows and you have a cushiony couch for two! They had a few like that but we saw this one in a catalog we received and knew it was for us. We stopped for lunch and coffee during our time at IKEA before we left with our purchases. It is what you do here in Holland. Coffee or maybe even lunch during many of your shopping trips!
Once home we put the arms and back together along with the bottom; placed the cushions accordingly and threw on our four new comfy pillows and enjoyed our new couch for the rest of the evening! 2e Paasdag was almost as fun as 1e Paasdag, just a little more cozy!

Hoorneboegse Heide, IKEA Amersfoort, nature walks, tree climbing

“What would you do if your child were gay?” That’s what Democratic presidential hopeful Chris Dodd asked some high school students in New Hampshire. I remember I asked my father that very same question years ago when I was just starting high school. I threw him for a loop when I asked that and he didn’t have much of an answer for me other than that he was adamant none of his children were gay. While it was not the answer I was looking for I was pleasantly surprised that when I did come out he was as open as any parent could be. Did that get him to thinking? I never asked but I do know that when he did find out he was prepared to ask questions and genuinely understand me and really get to know his daughter. I was a lucky woman as there are parents who are finding a different means to handle their child’s gayness. It is called conversion therapy, sexual reorientation therapy or reparative therapy; a means to turn the homosexual into an ex-gay as these individuals like to call themselves once they go through the treatment.
The treatment starts when people as young as fifteen are brought to a facility, much like a dormitory, and informed of the rules at hand. They have no say as to what they can watch, listen to and what they can wear. Men must shave daily and women twice weekly. No Abercrombie and Fitch or Calvin Klein. Bach or Beethoven is out of the question and any other form of media is dictated by them. Curfews are set in place, a log of every fantasy and thought goes to their therapist. Men get taught how to play football and other manly sports while the ladies get taught to put on makeup.
You see, the ex-gay movement believes that homosexuality is a set of behaviors causing the lifestyle choice rather than an orientation and a non-choice. They feel that the reasons for this are due to poor parenting, an inability to develop ‘healthy’ relationships with the same gender as friends and childhood traumas such as sexual abuse. These factors cause the behavior and therefore reparative therapy will be able to undo the damage and turn the person straight. Reparative therapies involve religious conditioning or therapy and prayer, also used is psychotherapy, aversion therapy and behavioral conditioning. One story that has circulated is where are residential treatment center used sedation, isolation, physical restraints and ‘hold therapy’ in which one girl was held down while the staff screamed at her until she confessed she was hurting her family by being a lesbian. How much of this is still being used one cannot say because the facility where parents send their children or individuals send themselves is closed to outsiders and videotaping is forbidden. The only source people have about the conditions of the place or techniques used are the people who come out of it and some of them are so traumatized to talk about it.
There are other means that people involved with the movement use. CD’s and DVD’s to condition their thoughts into believing they are falling for the opposite sex and their tendencies for the same sex are leaving their person. In Mark Simkin’s report on the subject he interviews Richard Cohen a reorientation therapist who feels it is unnatural and shows a few techniques he uses in his private office. One such practice shown was when he had a patient vent out his frustrations from childhood with a racket on a bed. The patient was screaming the agony Richard feels was bottled up. The racket is to get the aggression out so he can find peace with the trauma and to make himself a more powerful man; writing out childhood memories and therapy is used to bring out the faulty parenting and trauma which he believes is the cause of gayness.
Richard Cohen is one of about a hundred facilities and therapists practicing reorientation or conversion therapy across America where it is gaining in momentum. Critics of the practice see it as a dangerous fraud and that consequences are huge when it comes to the individual coming out of therapy. American Psychiatric Association and others feel that homosexuality is not a mental disorder and that it is impossible to change a person’s orientation. Critics also see it as a sham and a money maker as prices for one month in a treatment center can go as high as seven thousand dollars as well as all the books CD’s and other materials promoting the movement. There is no scientific backing for the success of the treatment and the centers themselves claim a rough number of 30% in success stories. Most treatment centers come from a religious background and reject what science as found when it comes to gays being born this way and continue to assert that it is behavioral and sinful.
Can all this really transform a human from gay to straight? Most don’t believe so and I tend to agree. Not only because I find nothing wrong with being a homosexual but also because with the methods used are detrimental to the individual who is only trying to find peace with who they are; it is brainwashing and in some cases cruel and inhumane. With what we do know about conversion therapy and what they do it reminds me a lot of boot camp and means to break them down and make them one entity and not individuals. What I also cannot understand is this is the very same religion that also preaches love, acceptance and a non-judgmental mentality towards its fellow man so how do they justify all this?

gay conversion, ex-gays, Richard Cohen, Mark Simkin, homosexuality

I sit here this morning after checking my mail a little dejected and impatient. February 21^st was the day I received a letter stating I was granted residence in the Netherlands. From there I was going to have to wait four to six weeks to actually receive the permit that would allow me to go out into the work force and do all the things that other Dutchies do. This is week six and my lack of patience is getting the better of me I fear.
When Dutchie and I applied for my residence permit back in October we were informed it had to be within three months of me landing in the Netherlands. We then spent nearly two hours in the office filling out paperwork and handing in nearly nine hundred euro for this. After that we were informed I did not have the proper paper work stating my single status in the US and was denied. Big scare at that moment; finding out they were denying my request because the paper work was in the mail and not quite at their desk, really scary. We objected to the decision because they did receive the one piece of paper that proved I was never married it just got there the day after they sent the rejection. I believe it was three weeks that Dutchie and I held our breaths and threw up prayers that the Dutch government would see what had happened and give me my permit.
The sweet sound of jubilation! February 21^st was such a happy day! I called Dutchie to read the letter and then called up my parents and emailed everyone I could think of. I was getting my permit, my objection was valid! I cried to Dutchie and I cried to my father, I think I simply fell down and cried on the floor. Three weeks after they said I wouldn’t be able to stay with Dutchie I was granted my permit! Hip, hip hurray! We waited while they processed me, we waited for all the paper work to come in and be accepted and waited while they reviewed my objection. Now we wait for it to actually get here.
I know they have to make a new sofi number for me, the same as a social security number, plus there has to be a file for me when it comes to taxes and all that but I never thought four to six weeks would take so long! I had patience and happy thoughts throughout the entire process that Dutchie and I went through, I even tried to think positive when we were rejected thinking that if we just object they will see. And they did see. But now I have this itch to get into society already, get a job and do all the things I once did in America. I cannot do much of anything without a sofi number and so I wait. Maybe it is because I KNOW its coming and therefore the patience I once had has completely flown out of the window for spring break.
I imagine that the process would be just as frustrating if it were taking place in America or anywhere else for that matter so there isn’t any need to curse the Dutch government, they are doing their job and have their hands full with a lot of people just like me and others who are in worse situations. I get that. My impatience is talking when I gripe about time and waiting… like I am doing now.
I will call them on Tuesday to see what is up if I don’t get it this week. Best I can do. Patience; I need to find patience.

Dutch IND, residence permits, American Expat, Dutch permits

I had a comment about my piece ‘Oh Sweet Jesus?’ and stated that I lacked conceptual depth; what was the intention of the artist in making the statue? She may be right; I was not entirely specific on the intentions of the artist and could have gone into more detail about what the controversy was really about. Let’s hope my second time around can answer the questions and add clarity to the story.

When announcements of the exhibit went out they stated it could be viewed from the street from midnight to 1am and 6pm to 7pm; starting April 1^st and closing April 7^th. According to the Catholic League news release on their website one title Naked Jesus-Genitals Exposed-Crucified dated March 29^th Bill Donohue, head of watchdog Catholic League, wrote this about the statue. “As I’ve said many times before, Lent is the season for non-believers to sow seeds of doubt about Jesus. What’s scheduled to go on at the Roger Smith Hotel, however, is of a different genre: this is hate speech. And choosing Holy Week—the display opens on Palm Sunday and ends on Holy Saturday—makes it a direct in-your-face assault on Christians…” He goes on further to say would contact all resources available to him to boycott the hotel and gallery holding the exhibit.
From the information on the Catholic League website as well as the interview that Kiera McCaffrey they are upset about the lack of loincloth. The New York artist has done his interpretation without one, this and the showing over the holiday week for Christians; this is enough to ruffle a lot of feathers in the Catholic community. The fact that it is made from chocolate only seems to be more fuel for them to use and is not the main point of the protest. Artist Cavallaro is known for his art with food and merely wanted to depict the savior in chocolate, something sweet and a means to get closer to his faith. He has made no mention as to why he depicted Jesus without a loincloth and his website has no mention of that detail either. So far I have not gotten a response to the inquiry.
Since modesty is such a large part of the Christian community and America in general most were only asking for it to be a closed exhibit. The fact that you would have been able to view this from the streets of New York is what was bothersome to some. Some weren’t bothered with the statue itself only bothered by the timing of the show. What is troubling is that the piece was criticized before it was even able to be displayed. Most hadn’t heard of it until there was uproar from the Catholic community. Bill Donohue, nor any representative of the Catholic League, has seen the piece in person nor have they attempted to talk to the artist himself to gain any insight as to his motive. Why not? Why not put an inquiry about it before getting on the horn to bash something not completely known to you?
Bill Donohue also stated “All those involved are lucky that angry Christians don’t react the way extremist Muslims do when they’re offended—otherwise they may have more than their heads cut off. James Knowles, President and CEO of the Roger Smith Hotel (interestingly, he also calls himself Artist-in-Residence), should be especially grateful. And if he tries to spin this as reverential, then he should substitute Muhammad for Jesus and display him during Ramadan.
This is extremely disturbing to me as I was always taught that Christianity was love, understanding and tolerance. Where is the tolerance and love in all of this? All of this seems so extreme; an attempt to bankrupt a hotel and ruin the reputation of an artist. What for? What statement is trying to be said here by Bill Donohue and his organization? That a tolerant religion cannot tolerate freedom of expression when it comes to one owns personal depiction of their faith? What exactly was the artist trying to say in doing this? Was it an attempt for controversy, to bash a religion he claims to have faith in or simply a means to express his own faith, no matter how strange we might find it?
There is one thing I do not understand in all this. If one can recall the Greek and Roman statues and art work that are now spread throughout the world; these pieces are detailed in the human figure and in some cases do depict the male or female genitals. The human body has been shown in art form in several ways as each artist as their own way of viewing the human form and portraying that to the public. How is this any different than years before? Is it because it is Christ and therefore should be made more modest? Jesus had a human body just as you or I, why not show Jesus as a man, a human as the Christian community says he was. A human with a human body and it seems to me that all Cavallaro was doing was showing the world what he saw in his religion, Jesus as a human just as you or I but without knowing what he thought when he made it I can only state my interpretation of the sculpture. Isn’t that what art is, interpretation?

I hope this puts a little more clarity into the story. I am currently waiting to hear back from my inquiries and when I do I will be sure to relay them back to you. Furthermore, if you want to read more on the controversial story links are available.

The artist Cosimo Cavallaro can be found here.

The website for The Catholic League can be found here.

All other articles on the subject can be found here.
Post Chronicle March 28, 2007
MSNBC March 30, 2007
Previous article ‘Oh Sweet Jesus?’

Chocolate Jesus, Sweet Jesus, Lab Gallery, Manhattan, Bill Donohue, Catholic League, Comiso Cavallaro

An interesting development happened in Manhattan New York this week with artist Cosimo Cavallaro and two hundred pounds of chocolate. Cavallaro, artist and Catholic, made a nude, anatomically correct chocolate sculpture of Jesus Christ and had planned for it to be displayed at Lab Gallery in Manhattan. With Jesus’ arms outstretched on an invisible cross he is depicted just as any other religious art work except without the loincloth. Cavallaro stated he did it to show his faith and get closer to his faith and religion. Kiera McCaffrey from the Catholic League says by making a religious icon such as Jesus and having him made out of chocolate with his genitals exposed “They are digging the knife at Christians on this” and to say otherwise is absurd and is also hate speech. McCaffrey went further to state that they wouldn’t do something like this to Muslims; taking Mohammed and making him from chocolate with his genitals exposed on Ramadan, their holiest month. Cavallaro said no he would not because he feels no desire to get closer to that religion, he isn’t Muslim but Catholic. He wanted to know how taking chocolate, which is not portrayed with evil, and taking the body of Christ, which is also not portrayed as evil, can make something evil. The hotel in which the gallery is housed was boycotted by Catholics and death threats were made to the artist and his wife and because of this the exhibition was closed. The artist did not even feel safe to have an interview done near the gallery or his home so had met reporters at a diner.
All this over a chocolate statue? Doesn’t the artist have the right to display his faith as he sees fit, he is an artist after all and even so, don’t we all have the right to display our faith any way we chose so long as it doesn’t harm anyone or infringe on others rights of religion? Naturally this isn’t the first time the Catholic community has been upset over artists of any kind portraying Christianity. Kanye West was on the Cover of Rolling Stone with a crown of thorns over his head to promote his latest song ‘Jesus Walks’. Yes, that has pushed some buttons too. The biggest musical artist is still Madonna. Recently she came out on stage suspended on a cross. It was scheduled to air on NBC but the footage was removed so it could be aired. I know none of us can forget the 8o’s and her ‘Like a Prayer’ video.
I was watching CNN when the story aired and they asked people to email in with their comments. One woman who wrote in asking what the difference was between chocolate and the fact that people eat the body of Christ when taking communion with bread and wine? Good question. Another wrote in stating it was the artists right to portray his faith in any fashion he chose. Why boycott it and threaten an artist for expressing himself? Simply not go to the exhibition. Another good question.
Censorship runs amuck in America and the fact that things are pulled from television and removed from galleries because it upsets a few people seems absurd. In this day and age when we should have freedom of speech and expression and freedom of religion why is religion still dominant on what is acceptable and a guide to what can and cannot be shown? Don’t Americans have the right to believe or not believe? Don’t Americans have the right to see what they choose even if it is a tad against the grain? It seems that religion has a strong hold on society, government and what is and is not acceptable. If I wanted to fly to New York to see this statue, to see how this New York artist depicts his faith, why am I barred from doing so because the Catholic League gets upset? He says his love for Jesus is sweet and loving, why not be able to show that with something sweet? How is it hate speech? How is it Catholic bashing? It’s chocolate.

Chocolate Jesus, Catholic League, Cosimo Cavallaro, Manhattan, Lab Gallery, Sweet Jesus

Even though gay marriage has been legal and quite the norm here in Holland since April first of 2001 there are still people who don’t want it and try to do anything from having to participate in such laws. COC Nederland did a survey of 443 Dutch municipalities that showed that one in eight Dutch municipalities have officials in service who refuse to marry gay couples. Twenty municipalities said that they may continue in the future to hire officials who object to performing such marriages. It was at the demonstration In Amsterdam at the Homomonument that one of the leading organizations for the GLBT community in Holland read its results. Over three hundred showed up to protest against civil servants refusing to perform gay weddings.
As a result representatives of political parties signed an agreement in which they state they do not support any legal acknowledgement for official’s right to refuse to perform gay marriages. Political part PvdA Chairman Michiel Van Hulten agreed with Socialist Party SP member Anja Meulenbelt in saying that there should be no distinctions in the marriages performed by civil servants who uphold the law. Article found here.
In New Jersey, where civil unions are now legal, law stipulates that if persons working for the state or lower position within town and county refuse to perform the ceremony they are they barred from performing any civil union or marriage. Law stating that there is no distinction between the civil unions and that if one has problem with performing one ceremony they will be barred from all. While some clerks and office officials have left their position over the new law most have stayed agreeing to adhere to the new law.
Maybe for once at least part of the US has done something right when it comes to adhering to equality in people?
Another thing the chairman is calling for is all local PvdA branches submit motions in municipal councils to prevent any officials from being hired who refuse to perform all services of marriage. Jersey already made sure that these cases wouldn’t happen, I’m impressed.
It goes to show that even in a country so open to change and expression still has its pit falls and individuals who wish to dwell in the past.

I had a question the other day about whether or not the whole countries, meaning its people, were as open as the law states. Was it the government or its people who wanted change? It was both, actually. Polls at the time state that seventy-five percent of the people were for the equal rights bill and when it finally came down to voting time it was 109-33 in favor of marriage in Parliament. It took fifteen years but in reality that isn’t bad, it’s just how the Dutch do it. They like being thorough and when it comes to dramatic change they want it right. Now that it is in place and so common now there isn’t any real thought of getting rid of it. Only as you see here, there are still some opposed to it and do what they can to aggravate people but really not much else.
For more information on Dutch law and gay marriage click here.

gay marriage, marriage, Netherlands, equal right, Netherlands marriage

Two articles that might be of interest can be found here. And here.

There are things I have been hesitant to try here in the Netherlands. Not much is on this list but I saw them as huge hurdles to overcome. One such thing was haring. Oh how the idea of eating raw fish freaked me out! The first birthday for Dutchie that I was here we went to her mom’s house and her sister was there as well. She brought with her haring, chopped onions and buns. Brootje haring met uien. I didn’t dare have any that day as I was new to all things Dutch and raw fish was simply not going in my mouth! That was ten years ago and I hadn’t been bold enough to try this Dutch delight until this weekend. Now while you can find this virtually everywhere not all Dutch like the idea of eating raw fish. You can eat haring as a standalone, as a sandwich, broodje haring, and with or without onion, uien, also raw. I am not a fan of raw onion so I got a broodje haring zonder uien.
We were at the market on Saturday, a beautiful day and we were in need of some fruit and vegetables. With our purchases in hand Dutchie got the idea that this day would be the day I tried haring since we were passing a fish stand. Dutchie was by my side for this huge event, placed some napkins in case this wasn’t such a good idea and I needed to get the thing out of my mouth asap as well as her phone to capture the whole thing on video. I literally prayed so that the taste would be wondrous and I could say, ‘yes I like it!’
I don’t think God accepts personal requests for taste bud changes in an instant.
It’s cold with a sea water flavor and a slimy film that clings to your tongue and the back of your throat. Even with dry bread the texture of fish, slimy, raw and cold with this flavor of sea water and something all together new to my taste buds cannot be masked. It sits in your mouth and only after you have sucked on a strong minty cough drop can you breathe a sigh of relief that the experience is over. The napkins that Dutchie put by my side came in handy as the one bite I did manage to take was taken out of my mouth, or what was left of it as I actually did swallow some of this stuff. Dutchie in the meantime captured the silent prayer, the only bite and every facial expression my face was capable of making in a video that is less than a minute long. She then took the broodje haring and ate it for me as we cannot let it go to waste you see. She is a Dutchie who likes her haring, preferably with uien.
The lesson in all this is simple. Do not be afraid to try new things when traveling. Do not expect to like everything you put in your mouth but be open enough to like it. And if you put in a silent prayer before trying such delights, could you put one up for me?

food phobias, broodje haring, haring